'AITA for calling my niece by a nickname after my sister asked me to stop?'
"AITA for calling my niece by a nickname after my sister asked me to stop?"
I (f18) have a half sister Emma (f29), not her real name btw. There's a lot of conflict between our parents that involves cheating. Me and Emma have the same mom but different dads.
I had more of a distant cousin relationship with Emma growing up and only saw her during special occasions, and I never really knew what she was up to. Emma and her daughter (f5) moved into my mom's apartment with us a few months ago because she's having financial troubles. She's a single mom and the dad was never in the picture.
Here's where we get to where I might be an AH. My niece essentially has the same name as me, except a C is replaced with a K. So for the story's sake, let's say my name is Chloe. My niece's name is Khloe. (Not our actual names, just an example).
Emma didn't name her after me, and said she just liked the name. Fair enough. Now that they're living with us and I have to use her name a lot more, it has just felt weird to me to call her by the same name I go by, and it's also gotten confusing.
I've started calling my niece 'Special K' as a nickname. She loves it and thinks it's cool, and calls me 'Auntie C'.
Emma brought it up to me in private and asked that I stop calling her the nickname. She said it comes off as disrespectful and that the nickname is not her name, and that she gave her her real name for a reason.
I was a bit floored by this and I said it's really not that serious, so long as niece likes it, what's the problem? Emma said it's not difficult to just call her by her actual name and said I won't understand because I'm not a parent.
I didn't want to upset Emma over something so trivial so I tried to call niece by her actual name again but then niece got upset and asked why I won't call her 'Special K' anymore when it's our thing.
I felt guilty and reverted back to the nickname but now Emma is super angry with me and won't hear me out on my side here. AITA?
ETA: To answer comments that I keep getting: No, I had no idea Special K was slang for a drug, and I don't think Emma knew either. We both associated it with the cereal. She didn't bring it up and wasn't even really focused on the nickname itself, just that I was calling her anything besides her actual name.
Here's what the comments said about this name blame game.
When you use the same name as your close family member like your half sister it's weird. When you name someone the same name it's either an honor or it could be trying to erase you. It's a subtle way of saying OP shouldn't exist when it sounds like the half sister is an affair baby with something to prove.
Former-Objective8828 OP responded:
I did think it was a strange decision when my niece was born. My dad actually had the same opinion as you guys and believed it was because Emma was bitter towards me, and he said she's childish for naming a whole human something out of spite.
I was actually the affair baby, my mom was married to Emma's dad and cheated on him with my dad. Emma chose to stay with her dad during the divorce (she was sorta old enough to understand why her parents split).
I don't know what Emma's reasoning really was with the name because who knows what she was thinking. I would rather assume it wasn't malicious though but maybe I'm just optimistic.
KTeacherWhat
NTA. The only person who gets to decide if they want a nickname or not is the person whose nickname it is. If your niece asked you to stop and you didn't, you would be TA, but she wants you to call her that so that's it.
Houndstoothreader
NTA and I’m giving older sis the side eye for naming her daughter the same name as her younger sister while insisting, “She’s not named after you. I just like the name.” Then pulling this attempted power move of insisting OP calls her niece by her own name. Mm hm.
Top_Bluejay_5323
NTA. Throw your sister under the bus. Tell your niece her mom won’t let you.
Confident_Macaron_15
NTA - your half sister is lame. It’s not about her.
GreenRedCrescent
NTA. Your sister must be the life of the party wherever she goes.
PopultionMe
Growing up — and even now — I wish I had a nickname. That’s when you know you’re close with someone. NTA. Half sister is just jealous.
Cider_Shark
NTA. Auntie C and special K are such cute nicknames