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Mom hosts daughter's birthday the same day her ex's mom died, gets mad when no one comes.

Mom hosts daughter's birthday the same day her ex's mom died, gets mad when no one comes.


The truth hurts, which is why so many people spend their lives avoiding it at all costs.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for telling her SIL the real reason no one came to her daughter's party. She wrote:

"AITA for telling my SIL the reason no one came to her daughter’s party?"

I (23F) am married to Jim (26M). Jim has an older sister named Danielle (28F). Danielle has a daughter (2F) with her ex John. We live 2500 miles away from them so we mostly just see each other of video calls. Jim is close to John because they grew up together and therefore is close with John’s family despite Danielle and him separating.

Two weeks ago we got news that John’s mom, Mary was sick again and that she was being put in comfort care (she’s fought and beat cancer 3 times). Despite that devastating news, Danielle refused to reschedule their daughter’s second birthday party. Jim, John and both of their family’s tried to convince her to but she didn’t budge even though Mary was in her last days.

Fast forward to two days ago, Mary passed away peacefully the night before the party. This was a huge loss to both John’s family and Danielle and Jim’s since they all grew up together. Yesterday at the party, no one showed up who said they were coming except for John and a couple of Danielle’s friends. Both sides of the family were grieving and making arrangements.

Danielle called me after the party upset about how no family came to celebrate her daughter’s birthday. She said she felt forgotten and that no one even let her know they weren’t coming and that she was shocked this few people came.

I was straightforward with her and told her that a party was the last thing on people’s minds after a loss like that and that she was informed two weeks earlier that she should reschedule. This upset her even more and she ended up yelling and calling me heartless before hanging up.

Jim told me that I didn’t say or do anything wrong but Danielle’s friend has been sending me rude texts since then calling me insensitive and cruel. It’s making me question if I might’ve been an AH.

Redditors gave their unfiltered thoughts on the situation.

alien_overlord_1001 wrote:

NTA. Danielle has main character syndrome. She knew what was happening with her ex's family (her daughters dad), and thought everyone would drop everything and abandon their dying family member for a 2-year-old's birthday party. A two-year old isn't going to remember s#$t about birthday parties, or if they were held a couple of weeks later than their actual birthday.

They are more likely to play with the wrapping paper than the gift inside at that age. A party for a kid this age is for the adults, not the kid. It costs nothing to be kind, but apparently even that was too expensive for Danielle. I don't think you were harsh enough.

inFinEgan wrote:

NTA. Does Danielle's friend know what happened or has she only heard about this through Danielle? Assuming she doesn't know the whole story, if she comments again, tell her flatly that she is out of her mind for defending Danielle. You have done nothing wrong. Danielle was complaining. She was the heartless one in this story and paid the price for it.

OP responded:

I can’t imagine Danielle telling her friend exactly what happened. She tends to skip around facts that might make her seem like the bad guy.

Hairann wrote:

NTA. SIL has some serious main character syndrome going on. Not only was she an idiot for not postponing a party, that a two year old won't even remember, but she was needlessly cruel to not take into account that the grandmother of her child had just passed away.

Stranger0nReddit wrote:

NTA. How insensitive and self centered can a person be. A loved one of much half of her daughter's family died. OF COURSE people didn't show to a birthday party the next day that frankly should have been moved to begin with. I mean, like it or not that's her daughter's GRANDMA. So much disrespect here on her end.

If I were you I'd just ignore/block Danielle's friends. They are either just as heartless or being fed a different version of the story. You don't owe anyone an explanation and entertaining their meddling is not worth wasting your time on.

Wonderful-Set6647 wrote:

NTA the only person in this situation what was insensitive and cruel was your SIL. She really expected everyone to celebrate the day after a loved one passed. She was wanted. Honestly the child is 2. She should have been respectful and just did something small and private. As far as her friends block and ignore. If it doesn’t stop file a report with the police.

OP is NTA here, but Danielle is a major one.

Sources: Reddit
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