'AITA for snapping at my 15-year-old nephew for eating my daughter’s food?'
"AITA for snapping at my nephew because he ate my daughter’s food?"
So, my daughter (6f) is a very picky eater, not in the sense that she will pout and whine if she doesn’t like what’s on her plate but more like she actually throw up and have something resembling a mini panic attack.
Because of that whenever we have our weekly dinners with my husband side of the family my MIL will make a separate dish for my daughter that she know she will like (my daughter hate most spices so most of the time no one else like her food so there’s no need to make it a dish for everyone).
Two days ago we had our dinner and we were running a little late because it has been a bad day for my daughter and we were both irritated at that point.
When we got there I saw my nephew (15) eating my daughter's food (I knew it was hers since she was having a completely different dish than everyone else and my MIL had told me what it was, and send me a picture to show my daughter since it was a new recipe she was trying) my daughter also saw it and started bawling.
It was a very hard day for her already and I guess this was what finally broke her, everyone came running into the kitchen to see what was happening and when mu SIL saw what her son was doing she immediately scolded him but the damage was done.
I gave my daughter to my husband and asked to wait for me in the car, once they left I snapped at my nephew that just because his parents never taught him to shut his mouth for a little while doesn’t mean he can just eat whatever he wants, he knew it was my daughter food, he knew how she is about food and he still chose to eat it. I gave my SIL a hard look and left.
Everyone had been bombing the family group chat fighting over who is in the wrong.
The internet had a lot of opinions.
Canadian_01 wrote:
YTA. It was up to your SIL to deal with her son. You keep your big mouth out of it. Plus, you don't even know what precipitated this, as you WEREN'T THERE, you were late.
It was your MIL's dinner to serve so she should have said something about 'this is (daughter's) food, please don't eat it'. It was SIL's job to make sure her kid had manners enough to know not to eat someone else's food.. Above all, it's SIL's responsibility to deal with her son, keep out of it. Maybe get your kid checked out. Picky eaters don't vomit. She may have something medical going on.
RoadWellDriven wrote:
Sounds like a nightmare family dynamic. ESH on that front.
YTA for subjecting us to that rambling, lack of punctuation mess.
sheramom4 wrote:
YTA. Your SIL was handling her teenager. Going off because you were having a bad day is unacceptable. There was no reason for it. You did it because you felt you could. SIL had it handled and she didn't ask for the village to step in. You also made disparaging comments about SIL's parenting despite her handling it.
Would it be okay if she commented on your parenting? Told you off for bringing an irritable child to dinner? Went off about your child's eating habits? No? Then don't do it to her.
l3ex_G wrote:
YTA don’t yell at kids in anger, you did it because you’re frustrated and you wanted to hurt someone. At 15, you still go to the parents. Probably was being bone headed and not thinking, I don’t think he ate the food as a direct attack at you or your daughter so your reaction makes you the A.
Runns_withScissors wrote:
YTA. It is very kind of your MIL to make a special meal for your daughter. It's unfortunate that your daughter was having a hard day and that she has food issues. You need to understand, however, that your daughter isn't the center of everyone's universe, just yours (as it should be). You were rude and behaved badly. It wasn't your place to yell at your nephew.
After receiving lots of criticism, OP shared an update.
Edit: I see it coming up a lot, by my SIL scolding my nephew I meant that she pointed at my daughter’s food, told him not to that next time since it’s his cousin food and lightly slapped his wrist like he’s a five years old. Also my daughter’s food was on the other end of the counter so no one will get confused. AITA?
Clearly, even with the update, OP was TA for how she handled this.