Mom 'rages' at fiancé for misusing daughter's wheelchair; he expects an apology.
It should be better known that it isn't just rude to touch someone's wheelchair - it's a complete violation.
When the mother of a wheelchair user saw something that made her mamabear instincts come out in full force, she was unsurprisingly accused of overreacting. So, she came to Reddit to ask if she actually was. You decide who the a-hole is...
AITA (Am I the A-hole) for raging at my fiancé for using my daughter's wheelchair to move bags of grass cuttings?
u/Queasy-Cod5125 writes:
I (F30) have a daughter, Hazel (F8). Hazel was born with a rare condition called tethered cord syndrome and she uses a manual wheelchair to get around. Hazel's father hasn't been in the picture since she was a toddler and I now have a fiancé Mark (M34).
Mark and I have been together for a total of 3 years. He has a son, Eddie (M14). We all live together in a house that I own in my name, which I know is a very fortunate position to be in with the housing market. I inherited the house from my late dad.
We have quite a large yard and the other day, Mark and Eddie were doing some yard work quite early in the morning. Hazel was still sleeping and I went outside to see what they were up to. That's when I noticed that Eddie was using Hazel's wheelchair to move bags of grass cuttings and dead plants.
I immediately stopped him and asked him what on earth was he doing with her wheelchair. Eddie sheepishly told me that Mark told him to use it and that it would be fine. After taking the things off my daughter's wheelchair, I asked Mark if this was true.
Mark admitted that he took the wheelchair to use it to move stuff, he said that Hazel was still sleeping and that they weren't going to use it for long so he didn't think it would matter or that she would even notice.
I started raging at Mark and yelling at him and saying that what he did was disrespectful to my daughter and that he has no right to go and take her things, let alone something that she needs to move around, and told him he's acting like a total d*uchebag.
Mark apologised but I was still royally pissed off and went back inside the house and didn't say anything to him. Later that day he said that I was wrong for my reaction and that I was majorly out of line, especially for acting that way in front of his son. I don't think I was out of line but Mark is expecting an apology.
What do you think? Did OP overreact to an honest mistake, or is Mark completely misunderstanding how inappropriate his actions were?
Reddit sure had some strong opinions on this one, but they all agreed that OP was NTA (not the a-hole).
Apprehensive_Rich556 says:
NTA. You were right in the first place. He disrespected you, not the other way around. A wheelchair has one purpose. It isn't a wheelbarrow, a dolly or a wagon, and it wasn't his to use for any reason. Not only that but it's your house and you aren't married yet. He overstepped, period and now he's trying to brute force intimidate you into backing down.
If you really really like him, explain it very slowly to him and that his only choice is to signify his understanding and acceptance of your rules in your house. Or toss him for carelessly using your daughter's necessary medical equipment as a yard implement.
BandicootFlat5838 agrees:
NTA. Soooo much NTA. I was recently shopping wheelchairs and that is expensive, medical grade equipment. It should never be used as a wheelbarrow, nevermind how disrespectful it is to your daughter! Does your husband have any video games or records? Try using one as a dinner plate and then see what he has to say.
throwaway_ballon92 points out:
Also, what if the wheelchair broke? Like if they were using a wheelbarrow they could still lift by hand but what about the wheelchair? Is he planning to lift your daughter around?
J-Jupiter says:
NTA. That's like using somebody's prosthetic hand to unclog a drain pipe. Absolutely unacceptable.
aeterna85 asks:
NTA. What if she woke up and needed to go somewhere, like the bathroom in an emergency? Also, what if bugs, ticks, spiders, or dangerous germs got onto the wheelchair?
And DearOP_ is simply not having it:
OP's NTA & I vote for tossing him since he's far too old to believe it's right in any way to use anyone's wheelchair to do yard work. He was being lazy & told his son to do it which says a lot about him. Now he's upset because OP called him out for his bad behavior in front of his son & expects an apology which is ridiculous.
He has zero respect for her daughter or her. Luckily they're not married yet & the house is hers making it easier to send him on his way because in no way did he really believe it wasn't a problem, he just doesn't see her daughter as a person the same way he sees his son imo or else he never would have pulled this bs.