Mom takes MLM job; daughter says, 'Just ask dad for a higher allowance.'
'AITA for telling my mom her business venture is an MLM?'
My (19F) mom has recently started trying to sell kitchenware to other moms called Pampered Chef kitchen supplies. She learned about it from another mother. It sounded like an MLM, so I checked, and it is.
My mom has been a stay-at-home mom since my sibling (13) and I were born. She doesn’t need to work since my dad makes mid to high six figures, but she wants a job because she feels like a loser/mooch who doesn’t contribute to the family.
And she didn’t have any friends or hobbies except her mom acquaintances from my brother’s sports teams since she doesn’t work, so she feels purposeless since she’s never done anything in life.
My dad and my mom’s family often joke with each other about how she doesn’t do anything, so she’s been looking for some kind of minimum wage job to keep busy and feel less useless. And maybe make some friends.
Realistically, she could never make enough money to contribute financially since she didn’t go to college, so it’s mostly for her self-esteem. But she can’t do any physical jobs because she had an illness in the past. So she’s trying now to sell these pots and pans and doesn’t understand the concept of a pyramid scheme.
I told her it’s an MLM and she got super upset at me, saying nothing she does is ever enough to help our family out, and what else can she do to make money.
She also said that the allowance my dad gives her ($500 every 2 weeks for groceries and anything she needs to buy for the family) isn’t enough because half of it has been going to repair the recent water damage in the basement. So she can’t afford to buy necessities anymore.
I told her to just go ask my dad for a higher allowance. They share a bedroom. It shouldn’t be too hard to ask. She started crying and saying he’ll berate her for spending too much and not contributing. She’s quite upset now that I said she’s in an MLM.
Here's how people judged OP:
Alicia0510 writes:
Your father is TA. Why does your mom have 'an allowance' of $1000 a month from which she is expected to purchase all groceries, everything the family needs, and apparently pay for all home repairs (the water damage) when your family has a six-figure income?
Your dad is financially abusing your mother. Your family income is her money. He shouldn't restrict access like that. Your dad is abusive and your mother needs help. If you won't help her, YTA.
oyyeq OP responded:
Well, since she doesn’t work, she doesn’t have any of her own money. So my dad gives her $500 of his money every two weeks so she can pay for things we need. That’s why she wants a job so she can have money.
Competitive-Way7780 writes:
Wow, you really despise her, don't you? YTA on so many levels.
oyyeq OP responded:
No, I feel bad about her situation.
DiscoDeadhead writes:
I didn’t go to college and make 6 figures a year, get over yourself
oyyeq OP responded:
I don’t deny there’s exceptional cases.
vegemite_pretsel writes:
NTA for pointing this out to your mum, but it sounds like she is being financially abused by your father. If he is earning 'mid to high six figures' an allowance of $13k per year to buy groceries and all other essentials is entirely unreasonable. No wonder she is desperate to find a job! How about you try to help her get some financial independence?
oyyeq OP responded:
I’m trying to help her!
danbert2000 writes:
In most couples, the money is shared and you don't get more power in the marriage by earning more. Just admit it, your dad treats your mom like a pet and you excuse it because you're comfortable with the arrangement.
oyyeq OP responded:
But in any relationship, the one earning more completely does have more power even if it’s not acknowledged.
lianavan writes:
YTA. No grown person needs to ask for an allowance. She has a full time job being a house wife. Grow up.
oyyeq OP responded:
Being a housewife doesn’t pay money.
Adverbsaredumb writes:
YTA Jesus Christ you are awful - This has nothing to do with her trying an MLM. It has everything to do with everyone around her belittling her and treating her like she’s useless.