Mom asks if she's wrong to forbid daughter from seeing her high school bully's son.
There's nothing worse than a high school bully. Even decades after you graduate, you may still feel the anger and resentment coursing through your veins over the trauma of being bullied. So how would you feel if your high school bully's kid started getting close with your own child? Would you forbid them from hanging out, or would you simply let bygones be bygones and ignore your past?
Reddit user u/JustAMom777 recently found herself in this situation. She realized her teenage daughter was forming a relationship with her high school bully's teen son and she was livid.
Now she's asking the internet, 'AITA (Am I The A**hole) for not allowing my daughter to be friends with my high school bully's son?'
She writes:
I have moved a year ago and unfortunately ended up moving not too far away from my high school bully. My high school bully made my life a living hell in high school and I still hate her for that, she was an awful manipulative person who would pretend to be your friend and share all secrets to gain popularity.
My daughter (15) started hanging out with her son (16), they met at the skate park, my daughter started going to the skate park every day to see him and even got his phone number.
My daughter has gotten really close to him and ended up inviting him over which was the first time I saw him and something about him seemed fairly familiar about him it was very offsetting to me.
Like a little over a week after, my daughter and I go to the grocery store together and we happen to see my high school bully and her son, of course, my daughter goes to say hello and I just stand there glaring at her, trying to control my anger.
She ends up recognizing me and greets me by my name and even had the audacity to apologize, I tell her it's a little too late for that and turn towards my daughter and tell her that she can say good-bye to her little friend because that'll be the last time she'll see him.
She looks at me confused and said, 'what do you mean?' So I explained to her that his mom is a bully and that she doesn't need that kinda influence in her life. My daughter looked visually upset like she was almost on the verge of tears and asked me for the keys so she could wait in the car.
Later on that day my husband, who heard from my daughter about what happened, tells me it's unfair for me to stop our daughter from seeing her new friend just because I have issues with his mom and that he seemed like a nice gentleman.
I told him that I feel as if my concerns about my daughter being around such toxic people are valid. He replied back telling me it has been years since high school and that I need to get over myself because people change and life moves on
Maybe he's right, maybe I shouldn't hold my daughter back from a good friendship just because of some issues I have in the past. AITA?
This is a tough one, I hold onto grudges like a hoarder holds on to old People magazines, so I can completely understand this mom's reaction when she was caught off guard in the moment.
She does not have to forgive or forget the way her bully mistreated her, but she can't control who her daughter hangs out with now that she's nearly an adult. If anything, it will probably cause them to get closer just out of spite for their parents. We all saw how that worked out with Romeo and Juliet.
Reddit has called this mom out as 'The A**hole.' What do you think?
YTA. Do you not remember how valuable a real friend was at 15? The kid hasn't done anything to your daughter. You have. I'm sorry the woman treated you with cruelty. You don't have to see or interact with her at all. Let your kid have a friend.
YTA. For a start, they're 15 and 16. It's not like you need to talk to the other parent to set up play dates or whatever. I'm sorry you ran into your high school bully at the supermarket, but you don't need to talk to her.
You're punishing 2 kids for the fact that someone bullied you as a teen. You don't need to forgive her or talk to her, but you need to stop punishing innocent kids for something that they had nothing to do with.
YTA— it’s fine if you don’t want to associate with your hs bully, but dragging your kids into it is way out of line. Your daughter isn’t you and your bully’s son isn’t her.
YTA- it’s time to let it go. You don’t need to buy her Mary Kay, but your trauma is not your kid’s burden to bear
YTA - you're holding the son accountable for their mother's behaviour. If you don't want to see the bully then that's fine and understandable, but let your kid have their friend.
YTA. You have no way of knowing her son is toxic and he should be judged by as his own person. It’s fine if you want to avoid the bully but it’s not like your kids are play date ages. You’re just hurting your daughter.
YTA - You're allowing your bad experiences to taint your daughter's life