Woman takes in sister and nephew; when they move out they want to keep her dog.
"AITA for not giving my nephew my dog?"
Just some background info. My (33F) sister (35F) moved in with me and my partner six years ago when my nephew Jayden (now 11) was 5. She was going through a really rough break up with Jayden's father and needed support. She started dating Steve about 2 years ago and they just recently moved in together.
About a year after they moved in, I adopted a husky mix named Flynn. My nephew loves Flynn to pieces. Flynn is a very well behaved but active guy. We have a fenced in yard for him and we also take him for two walks a day.
He was kennel trained as a puppy while we were working on potty training, but now that he's older we never lock him in his kennel. The door is just open with his dog bed and toys in so he can lay in there as he pleases.
Here is where our issue started. My sister and Jayden just moved in with Steve. Jayden was really sad to be leaving our home, but we tried to make plans so he could come back and visit whenever he wanted and encourage him to give Steve and their new family a chance.
Jayden asked me if he could take Flynn to his new house. I was very sympathetic and had a serious conversation with him about it, but I told him the answer would have to be no. Steve is afraid of big dogs, he always avoided Flynn while visiting in our home and would make comments about keeping him in his cage.
Also as much as my nephew loves Flynn, he was never responsible for his care in anyway and I don't think he understands how much responsibility it takes.
I thought that was the end of the story but I recently got a phone call from my sister, furious that I wouldn't let Jayden have 'his' dog. She said that Steve wanting to kennel the dog wasn't a deal breaker and I was just being selfish.
I explained to my sister that Flynn needs a lot of exercise, we have a large, fenced in yard (she does not), we take him for multiple walks a day and we never keep him locked in his kennel. At this point he's five years old, he hasn't been locked away in his kennel since he was a puppy potty training.
She argued with me that he would only be in the kennel until Jayden got home from school and overnight (that's the majority of the day?) and that she would make Jayden walk him. I told her that I was sorry but Flynn is my dog and I'm not budging.
She told me that I'm not welcome in her home anymore and that I'm no longer allowed to see my nephew. This is not behavior that's normal for my sister and its made me wonder aita for not just giving my nephew my dog?
This is what people had to say:
Big-Bug6427 says:
I'm saddened by this. You took your sister in when she needed you, and her thank you was trying to take away your dog cuz her kid wanted it? She clearly doesn't understand what it takes to have a dog and I would worry for any dog she might own in the future. Now, putting this aside, this is YOUR dog.
You are his home, don't let anyone make you think otherwise. Your sister owes you an apology. Oh ya, and NTA.
leginnameloc says:
OP's post is textbook no good deed goes unpunished.
Swiss_El_Rosso says:
NTA. A 11 year old kid can not take the responsibility about a dog.
SpunkyRadcat says:
NTA - Also, get your dog chipped if he's not, cameras around the house, and the door locks changed. We have heard MANY, MANY stories on this subreddit about people stealing pets they feel entitled to. You absolutely do not want her just coming and taking the dog while you're out. And if she does, you need, proof in the form of footage and a chip.
NTA. All of this. It was always YOUR dog. Just bc other ppl love him -- you take care of him. That's what makes him YOUR dog. Completely absurd.
Honestly, your sister has some serious issues and they are not yours to solve.
ETA: everyone on here is always crazy harsh and black + white.
If you have a good rel with your sister, you could actually try to talk and see what the REAL issue is. She thinks the dog is going to fix something that isn't working and that's why she's gone so insane about it. Bc you are the obstacle. It's obv that your nephew isn't adjusting or just living w Steve isn't all smooth OR SOMETHING that isn't related to the dog.
The dog is your dog and if she thought it was her son's, ask to see all the vet bills and food bills for it that she's covered its entire life. She never thought it was theirs then, so why would she now?
It's just illogical. But again. If you do value your rel, and given you lived with them for so long, seems like you do, try to work on the real issue. He can always come stay for a weekend and hang with the dog, etc. Maybe the couple needs space too. Etc.