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Woman won't forgive cancer-stricken cousin after world's dumbest heist. AITA?

Woman won't forgive cancer-stricken cousin after world's dumbest heist. AITA?


This ain't Ocean's 11, folks. To get ripped off is one thing. But to get ripped off by criminals — your relatives, no less — who barely have half a plan figured out? That's got a little extra sting to it. On Reddit's Am I the A**hole, a woman wonders:

'AITA for refusing to forgive my cousin for stealing from me, even after she got sick?'

My (22F) cousin (21F) and I were like sisters growing up. We lived near each other, and we spent a ton of time at our houses. One day five years ago, her mom dropped her off while I was in the bathroom.

In the 10 minutes it took me to get out, she took all my money from my room (about $150) and like half of my clothes, all the best ones. My aunt (her mom) was in on it, and they drove off all while I was still on the toilet.

My parents and I tried to get the stuff back, but the police wouldn't do anything about it, and I think they ended up thrifting most of the clothes. My parents, my older sister, and I completely burned my cousin and aunt out of our lives, but the rest of the family stayed neutral about it.

We refused to attend any event where they'd also be, and I haven't even said her name since. I wasn't upset when she got cancer last year.

It was looking pretty bad for a while, my aunt asked me to come see her so she could apologize, but I refused even then, which alienated a lot of my extended family.

She's doing a lot better now and is expected to pull through, not that I care either way. Where I might be TA is how I've been acting since.

My former cousin wants to make amends, I guess it took almost dying for her to pretend to have morals. She even offered to pay me back for what she stole, but I'm not interested.

She betrayed my trust for what was basically pocket change, and only wants my forgiveness to feel better. I don't care if she's sick or not, she's dead to me. Even my parents and sister say I'm being cruel, and I should at least see her to 'move on' but I have no interest in seeing her.

OP wants to know if her stubborn stance is justified. The comments were happy to let her know.

From p9nultimat9

NTA. It’s unfair for OP to have no other options but to forgive cousin who got sick, because cousin didn’t want to die unforgiven.

I also hate when someone says “I will return what I stole, if you forgive me”. Just return it first regardless, if you really have remorse, then wait to be forgiven.

From crockofpot:

NTA. Cancer doesn't magically de-a**holify people.

What particularly stands out to me is how cold-blooded your aunt and cousin were about it: they clearly planned the theft ahead of time, and acted like nice trustworthy family members while planning to stab you in the back. Clothes and money can be replaced, but when trust is so pre-meditatedly shattered like that? How could you trust your aunt and cousin are sincere now?

From Johnnywithabigj:

NTA. Stealing, especially since it was planned out and from someone related to her, is an inexcusable crime.

This might sound harsh, but: Her contracting cancer is nothing but karma.

From Critical-Joke-597:

NTA. Your life your choice. To forgive and forget. Don't let family guilt you. When you don't feel it.

From lookingformiles:

NTA, but I'd let her pay you back - including interest and YOUR opinion on the value of the clothes. Tell her to do that and you'll hear her out. Then once she pays you, decide if you want to hear her out or not.

From gingerwhodrinkstea:

NTA. People often forget forgiveness is something that’s supposed to help the VICTIM move on, NOT THE WRONGDOER. But forgiveness isn’t always necessary for the victim to move on.

OP was wronged. It’s her choice whether or not she feels forgiveness is necessary on her journey. The cousin & aunt need to accept the consequences of their actions.

Anyone in the mood for Italian Job?

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