'AITA for refusing to split an expensive meal with my sister and her partner?'

"AITA for refusing to split an expensive meal with my sister and her partner?"

Last week, myself, my sibling, their partner and our mom went out to a new nice new restaurant in town as our mother had been wanting to go for a while. So we both decided to bring her as a treat. As I have food allergies and an recovering from jaw surgery, I have limited foods I can eat, therefore I only got a couple sides that were easy to chew and swallow.

My meal was $25.00 total, mom's total was $65.00, and my sibling and her partner's meals were each well over $150.00. When the server came to our table to ask about the checks, I stated I was paying for mine and we were splitting our mother's 50/50. This left my sibling and her partner to pay for their own meal and half of our mother's.

They threw a fit and told me I was being stingy and selfish because the whole bill should have been split down the middle since it's a family outing. I stated that this outing was for our mother because she's been wanting to go and we decided to treat her to it, but that I am not required to pay for their meals just because we're family.

They were heated and began getting angry with me then gave me the silent treatment the whole ride home. My mother agrees that I should not have been paying for their food as they were most likely expecting a cheap nice meal, but they've now taken to fb to complain about "selfish family". (Keep in mind - I don't use FB, but mom does and saw the post).

That made other family members call and text me to tell me I'm selfish and insecure because I'm single etc. It got chaotic. At that point, as my receipt was sent to my email and my sister had hers sent to my email for me to ss and text to her (she said her email was too full).

My mother decided to post both receipts on FB to show that I wasn't the selfish one, now those same family members are going off on my sister and her partner for being selfish, while also telling me I had not business airing out the truth because they have a right to be angry that I wouldn't pay their way and saying now I'm starting drama.

In short, AITA for not paying their way and then telling everyone the truth to the situation, making them look bad in return?

People had a lot to say in response.

otsukaren_613 wrote:

NTA. They started talking, Mom finished the conversation, done. Don't start nothin, won't be nothin. They're just embarrassed they got caught, and the family is lashing out at you because THEY feel bad about being flying monkeys without all the information. It somehow has to still be your fault, right? Because they can't possibly be wrong....../s

You're fine. You didn't even put it on social media, your Mom did. Maybe put these people on an info diet for a while.

Self_Reintegration wrote:

NTA, not even close. You should only have to pay for what you eat, and then if you are bringing mom for dinner, it's appropriate to either pay for her or split that with the other people bringing her. They ordered expensive food with the expectation you'd pay half, and that's not fair to you. They were trying to use you, good job on not letting them :)

diminishingpatience wrote:

NTA. They're the selfish ones. "We want you to pay for whatever we want" isn't the attitude of selfless people.

"I am not required to pay for their meals just because we're family."

Absolutely right, "those same family members are going off on my sister and her partner for being selfish"

They're right. "I had not business airing out the truth because they have a right to be angry that I wouldn't pay their way and saying now I'm starting drama."

This doesn't make sense. They decided to use Facebook to try to embarrass you; your mother posted the receipts to present the facts to them. You didn't start any drama.

CautiousCanvas wrote:

NTA. GO OP'S MOM!!! It's so wonderful to read about a sensible mom on here for once.

No_Mathematician2482 wrote:

This is a classic FAFO situation. The incredible burn you had when the truth was shown. NTA. You are never TA for telling the truth. I hope your mom had a good meal.