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SIL houseguest constantly complains; is told 'get a hotel,' but she can't afford to. AITA?

SIL houseguest constantly complains; is told 'get a hotel,' but she can't afford to. AITA?


"AITAH for telling my SIL she is welcome to get a hotel room if she’s going to keep complaining about everything in my house?"

My (28F) brother Alex (33), his wife Rachel (35) and their daughter (7 months) are staying with me til after Christmas because they are back in our hometown for the month and our parents' house is being renovated, so they have nowhere else to stay.

I’m a nurse and work strange shifts sometimes. A few nights ago, I got home at around 2am after my shift. Usually I work either day or night shift so getting home at 2am was unusual but it happens sometimes. Anyway, I walked in the house as quietly as I could, but the stairs creak so Rachel heard me come up.

The next morning, she asked if coming home at 2am will be a regular occurrence because I woke her up. She asked if I can avoid coming home at such hours or walking up the stairs because she’ll wake up. I said I’ll avoid it as best I can but some things will be unavoidable and I apologise in advance.

"She keeps complaining every time me or my brother walk up or down the stairs when she’s trying to take a nap or at night when she’s asleep."

She’s been complaining about literally everything. She’ll say stuff like “ughhh this wifi is s$#t. Ugh this area is too noisy, I can’t sleep. Ugh this couch is bad for my back. Ugh the fruits here are terrible. Ugh these forks are too thin”.

If she was complaining about things that I could change easily then I wouldn’t mind because I do want them to enjoy their stay here, but hearing her complain about everything under the sun is draining. I hate coming home from work just to hear her complain and complain and complain.

Yesterday after she was complaining about how much she hates my induction stove and telling me I should just get a regular gas stove, I said I keep my house just as I like it so she shouldn’t worry about it. She said yeah it’s how I like it but it makes it difficult for guests.

I said I barely ever have guests and the only reason they’re staying with me is because I wanted to do them a favour, but that they’re absolutely welcome to get a hotel if she’ll just complain about everything.

She told my brother about our conversation and he said I’ve put him in a tough spot because he can’t afford to get them a hotel or Airbnb for weeks but now I’ve made his wife not want to stay with me anymore. I said that’s all on his wife and none of that is my problem. Things are very hostile and weird around here now. AITAH?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

evadivabobeva says:

Has no one suggested earplugs?

No_Room_1557 OP responded:

She has to be able to hear if/when the baby cries so earplugs aren’t an option

toastedmarsh7 says:

I can assure you that she will hear her baby through earplugs, especially if they’re in the same room.

No_Room_1557 OP responded:

That’s the reason she gave me so i dont know honestly 🤷🏼‍♀️

Agile-Top7548 says:

Who stays with relatives for a month? Do neither work? That could be why they are broke. I bet this sil doesn't complain to you in front if the husband. She sounds like she's looking for things to complain about, didn't want tonbe there.

No_Room_1557 says:

She doesn’t work because she’s taking care of the baby but my brothers job is fully remote. So he still works full time even though they’re here.

gobsmacked247 says:

NTA but you need to sit both of them down and tell them that you want them to stay but your complaint tolerance level has been reached. They are free to stay but one more complaint and the decision to stay is yours, not theirs.

I don't even know why you feel the need to apologize for walking up the stairs IN YOUR HOUSE. Your SIL is a tad too entitled and she needs a reality check. Stop tiptoeing around her (literally and figuratively!)

zyzmog says:

It's time to STOMP up the stairs a few times, so she realizes how quiet you have been.

quill3216 writes:

You have put your brother in a tough spot. He has to tell his wife they literally can’t afford to be rude to people who host them. She needs to apologize to you. NTA.

Sources: Reddit
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