Son will only see dad if he gets back college fund used for stepbrother's healthcare.
Having enough money for college can be a challange. Some families have enough for four years at a top school, while people have to take out loans even to go to an inexpensive school (the average cost of college in the United States is $35,551 per student per year).
But what happens if you're promised money by your family, and then it gets taken away? In this post one guy shares his story...
To make this brief. I M23 had issues with my dad after my mom died and my stepmom came along. I hated a lot of decisions that were made, but what has left a long lasting impact was taking my college fund to pay for my stepbrother's surgeries.
Unfortunately, he's dead (died last year at the age of 16 from a chronic heart problem). I've kept my distance, but still see my grandparents and uncles, aunts, cousins etc.
With the holiday season coming up, dad started talking to me through some relatives - close relatives. He went on about his overwhelming feelings of lonliness, his upcoming divorce and invited me to spend Christmas with him because he's alone and heartbroken.
As a response, I told him I'll GLADLY spend christmas with him if he gives back my college fund in a form of a Christmas gift. He and the others didn't like my response. He thought this was harsh and my relatives said that I was a judgemental, petty, greedy a**hole to say this to him after he's lost so much.
They said he did all he could to save his stepson (my stepbrother) life which they described as 'noble' and that he doesn't owe me a thing. I went home after a big argument with my uncle who came at me for what I said.
Now I feel like sh*t. Maybe I should've just calmly, politely declined the invite and not said this to him and made him feel guilty for how he handled my stepbrother's situation.
EDIT:
I just took a look and I see that I'm getting a sh*tload of comments here. To answer few questions:
1. The fund was made by my dad. Mom was a SAHM, and didn't work, but they both agreed that this fund would go towards my edication.
2. I was able to get in college. I started working to pay my way, and had some relatives help, but my uncle did so much for me which is why I said felt like sh*t when he berated me. He holds a special place in my life and he's the last person I want to disppoint or let down.
From the comments:
Duality26 writes:
YTA - get therapy. You and your Father have both lost a lot. But you're 23 now, it's time to take responsibility for your own choices and accept the choices your Father made.
Furthermore, you should have a sense of how money works. The money your father earned in not YOUR money. You should also understand Healthcare is stupid f**king expensive and it's unlikely your father can just flip his couch cushions and come up with the money you need for college.
It doesn't even sound like you want a relationship with your dad. You want him to give you money and then go back to being a resentful little shit.
EmeraldBlueZen writes:
Sigh this is such a difficult situation. I do feel for OP, butI also understand dad's position. And I'd hope that OP eventually finds it in his heart to forgive dad. BUT honestly, if this is happening in the USA, then these country's horrendous health care and higher education systems are 100% at fault.
They leave folks with debt and bankruptcy AND often with impossible choices to make. I'm so sorry for OP and his dad. SMH. NTA
swishystrawberry writes:
YTA. For one thing, it isn't as though your dad pissed the college money away on something frivolous- it sounds as though he was trying to help save your stepbrother's life.
But what really cements the AH status is the fact that you've chosen to make your relationship with your father be about money, and it makes you seem greedy.
CakeZealousideal1820 writes:
NTA. I don't understand these YTA comments. There was a college fund in place and it was used for someone other than you. Def NTA
Even_Dark7612 writes:
It was used to try and save someone else's life???