I (15F) have two sisters. Sophia (26F) and Sasha (31F). Sasha and Sophia both have kids. My parents are divorced and my mom is dating a cool guy named rick. I even call him dad.
Ever since my sisters had kids my dad hasn’t been very present in my life. He is more worried abt being a grandparent than an parent. It’s to a point where i live with my mom and step dad 100% of the time because of weekends my dads house turns into a daycare center. My dad favors sophia and often puts her kids above me.
When I was nine I had a father daughter dance the same day as sophia’s sons kindergarten graduation. instead of going to my dance he went to my nephews graduation. I had to dance with rick. At first I was sad but rick managed to cheer me up and I had a great time.
Sophia is constantly making remarks about how her kids are more important then me. My mom knows this and tells my sister to cut it out whenever she does it, but my dad just laughs and makes jokes about it.
It’s important to mention I have the same birthday as sophia’s son and ever since he was born I have been forced to celebrate my birthday a month after in order to “give my nephew his time to shine.” My mom and rick would always get me a cake and presents on my birthday.
They would let me have a sleepover with my friends on my birthday. We keep it lowkey so my dad and sophia never find out.
Recently it was my birthday and I had a dinner. I only invited my mom, rick, sasha and her husband. My bil is cool and funny. My mom posted pictures on her facebook and my dad and sophia found out.
They were mad and started yelling at me and my mom. My sister accused me of being jealous of her son and my dad accused my mom of parental alienation and threatened to take this to court. My dad accused my mother of trying to replace him as a father figure with rick in my life.
I told my dad that rick is more of a father than he is and he got quiet and hung up the phone. Sophia said I made dad cry and called me a b*tch. My mom, sasha, and rick told me i didn’t do anything wrong but idk.
AITA for not inviting my dad to my birthday dinner?
Here's what people are saying:
Arreis_gninnam says:
NTA. Your Father and Sophia are the a**holes. You sister is 10 years older than you but acts like a spoiled brat. It’s completely f**ked up of her and your father to expect you to not have a celebration for your birthday. It’s your life and your birthday. You chose to fill your day with people who make you happy and loved. There is nothing wrong with that.
mikokat says:
NTA in any way whatsoever.
Your sister sounds like a stuck-up, egocentric person really. To demand you celebrate your birthday an entire month after just because she thinks her son is more important is absurd.
Your dad going along with it shows his favoritism and general dismissiveness towards you. To me, it sounds like your bio father doesn’t really care about you, and it’s not your job as the child to take care of his emotional needs.
AdmirableJudgement says:
NTA You told the truth.
The thing is, the truth didn't hurt just him, it's a hurt that you live with everyday. And it needs to be fixed before the situation becomes irreversible.
Ask your dad out for lunch or brunch. Tell him he can make his presence his birthday gift to you. Do not agree to schedule it around something for your nephew, tell him he has this chance and only this chance.
Frequent-Exercise618 says:
You are a teenager and you are going through a tough time at the moment and it is understandable what you did was getting back at them. They being adults should know better and realize their behavior is causing these issues. So definitely not the AH.
TheQuietType84 says:
Your mom is not required to invite her ex to anything on her parenting time, so he can't take her to court over it. He's bluffing.
If you want, you're old enough to get the court order changed to spend less/no time with your dad. Give up on Sophia. There's no getting through to a narcissist. She truly believes the world revolves around her. Block her on your phone and ask social media.
Make your family a great support network. Mom, Rick, Sasha, BIL. They've got your back. Enjoy your birthday on the day you were born. Enjoy your life, hun. You're too young to have so many angry people yelling at you. Just cut them off. 💚