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Teen ignores stepmom in front of family after she calls her 'Andrea' instead of Andi.

Teen ignores stepmom in front of family after she calls her 'Andrea' instead of Andi.


Sometimes, the only way to hammer in a point with someone is to publicly make a stand so you have witnesses for your grievance.

In family situations, this can cause more conflict, but it can also give you the clarity you need to shut down disrespect moving forward. Still, figuring out where and when to properly call someone out can be a tricky math.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a teen asked if she's wrong for ignoring her stepmom after she kept using the wrong variation of her name.

She wrote:

AITA for ignoring my soon-to-be stepmom when she kept calling me by the wrong name?

So my (f16) name is Andi just Andi. My mom’s dad passed away just a few days before she found out she was pregnant. My mom was very close with her Dad and his name was Andrew (also went by Andy). The technical female version of Andrew is Andrea but neither my mom nor dad liked the nam. But my mom wanted to honor her dad in some way so I got named Andi. Which I love my name I think it fits me.

My parents got divorced when I was 8 and I live with my mom most of the time but visit my dad every other weekend (as well as holidays). Three years ago my dad started dating his now fiance “Kate”. Kate for some reason when we met assumed my name was Andrea. I explained to her it was just Andi. She kept calling me Andrea though.

I ended up telling my mom about it and she told me just to ignore Kate until she calls me Andi. Well, this past weekend I was at my dad’s and we were visiting some of Kate’s family. Well, she kept calling over for Andrea and of course, I ignored her. She got mad and said why am I ignoring her and I said because that's not my name and you know this.

Her dad and brother basically laughed saying they thought I just went by Andi as a nickname and I said no it's just Andi. They then asked Kate why has she been calling me Andrea then. Well, Kate later got made calling me a brat for embarrassing her. She went on to say I knew who she was talking about and that I should have just gone with it but I was being an AH.

I honestly kind of feel like in that instance I should have just answered to Andrea but I don't know. AITA?

Redditors got their typing fingers out for this one.

ACAB_easy_as_123 had words for OP's dad:

NTA - your dad is an a**hole for letting his soon-to-be wife disrespect his daughter like that. I mean is there a bigger red flag than not bothering to learn the name of your partner's kid?

And OP responded in agreement:

Honestly, I don't like that my dad is still with her and going to marry her but luckily I spend the majority of the time with my mom so I don't have to deal with her often.

ReverseCowboyKiller wrote:

Start calling her by the wrong name and tell her to 'just go with it.' NTA.

sh1tsawantsays had a theory:

NTA. I'll even go out on a limb and guess that 'Kate' is actually a nickname for your dad's fiancée and not her legal name. If this is true, then the irony of the situation has Kate going to 11 on the AH scale. She prefers to be called by a nickname, but for you, for some AH passive-aggressive, dumba$$ reason, she insists on calling you by what she thinks is your legal name (and she's wrong about that).

So, for hypocrisy's sake, she wants to be called a nickname, meaning she wants people to respect the right to someone to pick their own name, but for some reason, has decided that you don't have that right? And then Kate (or maybe I should call her Katherine?) gets mad because you didn't engage in her stupidity?

Maintain your policy of not answering to someone else's name. If 'Kate' has a problem, start calling her by her legal name until she pulls her head out to look for a clue.

And OP responded:

Yes Kate is a nickname for her legal name the funny thing is she calls my older sister by her nickname (my sister goes by both her nickname / shortened name and her legal name) but she insists on not calling me by my actual name

My theory is when Kate and my dad started dating, my dad told her I got named In honor of my mom’s deceased dad who she was really close to and Kate despite only meeting 3 times and exchanging only a few words doesn't like my mom at all so it's supposed to be a stab at my mom by calling me the wrong name.

Jbeth74 wrote:

NTA. Years ago I had a classmate (American in America) who’s name was Roisin, which is I believe Gaelic for little rose - pronounced Ro-sheen. Our professor insisted on calling her Ro-seen. She corrected him multiple times but he’d say he was right and keep doing it.

We all started calling him Rone instead of Ron and told him he was wrong when he complained. Your name is your name - if she cared about you she’d get it right.

OP is far from an AH, and should keep standing her ground with her AH stepmom.

Sources: Reddit
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