In an ideal world, finding out a family member is pregnant would be positive and exciting news. Baby showers would be full of full-hearted celebration, and there would be no underlying concerns. But the world we live in isn't ideal, and feelings aren't as black and white as we wished.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a teen asked if she was wrong for not wanting to attend her sister's baby shower. She wrote:
I (16F) don’t want to attend my (25F) sister “Angela’s” baby shower. When finding out she was pregnant I didn't have an opinion since I believed she would be moving out and my room would become my own. She did not move out and has been planning her baby shower to be in the middle of December since she is due in January of next year.
I was in shock because we barely have enough room in our home with 5 of us including myself. So how could we shelter another kid? I voiced my opinion to my mom because Angela and I have never gotten along. My mom said we would just keep her kid in my room which I found completely unfair as I would have to share a room with her and her kid too now.
My room is fairly small and our two beds take up all the room. I was just confused on where we had the space for this kid and the money. Angela is also unemployed and lives off my parents. She sometimes helps around the house but uses the excuse she is pregnant to not do work.
Because of this I have been upset and I my other sister Ruby (28F) was upset at first but now is helping plan this baby shower. I have fully expressed I do not wish to attend and have a get together that day anyways with some friends. I’ve received backlash from my mom and Angela that it’s not the kids fault and I should be there for Angela.
My dad doesn’t support this pregnancy either but is slowly helping out Angela, and for my sister Ruby she is neutral. She is attending the baby shower but understands why I can not be there. So AITA?
Aw, man. You are thinking small here, little friend. You should go to the shower. You should tell everyone what the living arrangements are gonna be and how you're so worried about where the baby's new stuff is gonna go.
You should air your sister's dirty laundry all over that party. Get that Aunty Shame working for you lol. NTA. It's not your room, it's hers now and she's gonna force you out. Your mom's okay with it.
NTA. I would be planning to leave as soon as you are able.
I'd say NTA for not wanting to go. Plus your complaints are valid about sharing the room. Especially at 16 with a newborn baby in the room that will surely be crying all throughout the night. Plus I'm sure the family will be expecting you (and other siblings) to help take care of the baby since "Angela" sounds a bit unmotivated at the moment.
However, not to take away from what I just said or how you feel (because I do agree with you), the house is your parents and not yours. As much as it sucks, that's the reality you're stuck with. I'd see if you could find a way to switch rooms with someone else in the family?
Or even try to live with a family member or friend. At the end of the day, it is their house and their rules, which is really unfortunate since you're a minor in school.
And it's not your burden to bear that your sister is in her situation. As for the baby shower, I'd go. Not in support of your sister if you don't want to, but to see if there would be someone willing to house you for a bit while the baby is small.
I really feel for you and hope you can find a better situation. <3
NTA. I get that this is an unplanned pregnancy, and pregnant mothers go through so much when expecting, but Angela really needs to start doing things to become a little more independent to provide for her child.
It's nice that your parents are helping and supporting her and the baby financially, but she's still going to be the MOTHER, which means that she also has an obligation to take care of this child's financial needs.
And it's not the fact that the baby itself is an inconvenience, it's Angela's and your family's inconsiderateness that is. Especially because of the fact that it's already crowded at home and everyone will have to adjust with living with an infant until Angela decides to get another place for herself...if she even decides to.
Definitely see if you can find another family member or close friend to stay with because honestly, it's really unfair how your feelings are being brushed aside to accommodate Angela and you, like every teenager, need and deserve your own room and/or space. With that being said (just to avoid drama) I would still go to the baby shower, but would stay for like 5 minutes and then go out.
NTA. That said, I love the suggestion of going and making a point of talking about how you're being forced out of your room and how "concerned" you are about the space. Also asking if any if them have a spare room you can use. Bring it up to anyone who mentions the baby.
Especially people your mother is trying to keep in the dark about things. And if you haven't already, start figuring out how you're getting out when you turn 18.
EDIT: To those asking about where the father of the kid is, he is not involved in Angela’s life. He didn’t support the pregnancy and my parents dislike him because he doesn’t support my sister financially and didn't take any responsibility when he found out she was pregnant.
And Ruby does still live with us as well but she is employed and pays a good chunk of the bills. Her and my dad pay the bills. And as of where I have been sleeping, I have been sleeping in Ruby’s room having to share a bed with her. (her room is noticeably smaller then mine).
OP is NTA here, she's being put in an awful position by her parents.