Teen refuses to do Christmas with mom because of stepdad; mom cries, begs her to come.
AITA for not going to my mom’s house for Christmas and refusing to make my little sister go too?
I’m 17 and my little sister is 15. Our dad died about 10 years ago. It was sudden and devastating. One day he kissed and hugged me and sis and told us he loved us and then we never heard from him again.
At the time I couldn’t fully grasped why he chose to stay away even though mom tried to explain it to us. I missed him and thought I did something wrong to make dad mad. I repeatedly called his phone hoping he would answer but it always went directly to his voicemail.
At his funeral, I realized I would never see him again and I broke down. I don’t remember much from that day except Uncle David held me the entire time. He held me throughout the funeral, during the drive home, and as I fell asleep that night. Uncle Alan did the same thing with sis.
It wasn’t easy growing up with just my mom and sis but not as tough as it could have been because the two uncles were always a phone call away. Whenever we needed help with school, one of the uncles was there to tutor us. One of them was always in the front row of every school performance and game.
Whenever I wake up in the middle of the night and miss dad, I’ll call Uncle David and know he’ll always pick up.
My mom eventually remarried to Bob. I never liked Bob because he always have to be in control and placed us on a strict schedule. Dinner was at 7 everyday no matter what. If we came home late and dinner was over, we weren’t allowed to eat that night. Whenever our uncles gave me and sis money, we had to give it to Bob and he divided the money equally.
A couple of months ago, sis and I were eating with Uncle David and his family. Our dinner conversation eventually led to where I want to go for college and how to pay for it. Uncle David told me that the uncles decided long ago they were going to pay for me and sis’s tuition and cost of living on campus.
I cried when I heard that and laughed when he jokingly said he hope I don’t get into medical school because that’s going to cost him a fortune. I went home and excitedly told mom and Bob that the uncles are going to pay for our colleges.
Instead of being happy, they both looked furious and Bob started screaming about how unfair it was to our step siblings and half sister that we’re getting a free ride through college. He wanted me to tell our uncles to divided the college funds equally among the kids but I refused.
The next day he kept on screaming at us so sis and I packed our bags to go to Uncle David’s house. He kept on screaming and even followed us out to my car.
Sis and I have been living Uncle David and his family ever since. This feels more like home that it ever did at our house. Mom has been asking us to come home for Christmas for a month now and I’ve been refusing. Today is the 24th and she’s been calling all morning crying and saying how we need to spend Christmas with family.
Am I wrong for not spending Christmas with mom?
Here's how people judged OP:
newbeginingshey writes:
You poor thing. NTA. If your parents pursue any legal action to compel you to come home, request a GAL, guardian ad litem. They will represent your interests, not your parents or any one else’s.
Impossible-Pause3788 writes:
NTA. Denying you food simply because you missed the dinner bell is abusive. Getting upset over you getting a full ride to college is not great, either.
Sometimes, we have to work a little harder to find people who truly love us. I'm glad your uncles are there for you.
Dashcamkitty writes:
Bob is an AH but the mother is more so. Those are her children and she's letting this abusive man bully them.
stonecloakwand writes:
NTA - Bob's kids are not entitled to what your Uncles have. They aren't blood relatives. Im going to assume your Uncles are the brother's of your father? You did the right thing. You and your sister were subjected to a guy that really doesn't give a shit about you and is more interested in giving what you have to his kids. Your mother let it happen.
Stay at your uncles. They've been there for you all your lives, and its clear they love you guys so much. Your mother sounds like when she married Bob, she chose her new family over the one she already had, and the two kids that had lost their dad.
Charlottewhit writes:
NTA. Your mom is a coward. She allows a man to come into your home and abuse her kids while she does nothing. Let her cry. The fact that you are both minors that left home and she did nothing to make you come back tells you all you need to know. Stay safe with your uncle. I'm glad you girls have someone in your corner
Im sorry for your loss. I hope things work out for you and your sister, and you succeed in life. Im sure your dad is very proud of you, where ever he may be.