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'AITA for telling my sister I have cancer at her gender reveal? She started yelling.'

'AITA for telling my sister I have cancer at her gender reveal? She started yelling.'


"AITA for telling my sister I have cancer at her gender reveal?"

I 28(f) was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, it was thankfully found in the early stages and I was told with surgery and chemo I should be okay. One of the things I was told to avoid was alcohol since I would begin treatment and various drugs obviously don't mix well.

Due to the timing of my diagnosis and it being the holidays me and my husband haven't told my family about this yet, we're waiting until I start chemo to tell everyone. Anyway my younger sister is pregnant and she had the gender reveal last weekend.

Despite me thinking it's irresponsible to have any sort of alcohol around a pregnant woman it was being served at the party, my sister and myself along with a few elderly family members were the only ones not drinking.

I guess one of my sister's friends caught onto this and told her because the next thing I know she's coming up to me asking if I was pregnant, thankfully no one really heard her since she was trying to be quiet.

I told her I wasn't she knows I'm childfree and don't plan on having children, she asked me again if I was pregnant and once again I said no. She told me if I wasn't pregnant than to drink a beer in front of her and prove it.

I don't owe her anything and told her as much and she began yelling at me that I was ruining her gender reveal by showing up pregnant and stealing the moment from her, at this point people started to look at us.

She kept yelling at me until her husband came and asked me if I was pregnant trying to calm my sister, by this point I was just annoyed and yelled out that I have cancer and that's why I'm not drinking.

Well the mood went sour after that and alot of people at the party started to give my sister looks while her husband apologized to me. Me and my husband left soon after since it was awkward and people were giving me their condolences and that pitying look people get when they know you have a serious illness.

The day after my mother called me telling me I should have just drank at the party because I ruined my sister's gender reveal and now everyone is worried about me and mad at my sister about pushing me to drink.

I told my mother it was my sister's fault for pushing her crazy ideas and she knows I don't plan on having kids ever.

Most of our family and friends are on my side but a few older relatives and my sisters friends have been saying that I did this on purpose for attention and that I have cancer I could have just drank a beer and been done with it since I wasn't pregnant.

I'm just so incredibly pissed off right now and so is my husband, we're even considering avoiding the family Christmas party next week because everyone now knows and I don't want to be pitied and have my sister and mom glaring at me over something that isn't my fault.

I honestly don't feel like I did anything wrong, but did I? Should I have just disregard it and had one drink to satisfy them, no one would know I had cancer if I did I'm just so tired.

Edit: Cancer runs in my family it's one of the reasons I'm CF, so does Alcoholism my mother's an alcoholic, my grandmother, some of my aunt's and uncles also drink excessively and my sister is getting there I think this pregnancy is the longest she's been without a drink

Edit 2: In my family the only valid excuse not to drink at a gathering is being underage or a pregnancy especially in my mother's eyes she still hasn't forgiven me for my lack of drinking and not giving her grandchildren

Edit 3: She didn't really ask quietly more like shoved a cup in my face told me to take it drink it and since I wasn't drinking it got mad at me grabbed the cup, tried to throw the drink at me and then started yelling about me being pregnant.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

NoSleep2023 writes:

Did your sister monitor every guest’s beverage preference? And get in their face if they had a non-alcoholic drink? Everyone there was there for her, and she still managed to make a mess.

ThrowRAIceanFire OP responded:

She outed our cousins pregnancy a few years back during my sister's wedding reception because she wasn't drinking, she uses her friends as her spies so yes.

Mentoman72 says:

Do you actually think you did something wrong here? Most these posts are just "please confirm to me that I was not in the wrong, thanks." Your family is crazy, trust your gut.

ThrowRAIceanFire OP responded:

Usually I am in the wrong when it comes to my family, it gets confusing what's right and wrong anymore.

Moteltulsa says:

None of that wouldn’t have come out if not for that nosy friend. Did the sister tell her to monitor op? This just seems premeditated to me.

ThrowRAIceanFire OP responded:

My sister's friends actually do monitor guest to make sure any event my sister throws isn't going to be outshines by someone else

Distinct_Buffalo_644 says:

NTA. Even if you weren't drinking due to being pregnant your sister AND mother are being ridiculous. So, your sister's irrational feelings are more important than your health? Their priorities a way out of wack.

happyG0heather says:

I keep commenting, but I now firmly feel that your sister is a sociopath and I fear for her unborn child, Whether it's a girl or a boy

ThrowRAIceanFire OP responded:

She's moms favorite I've always known that I just thought some part of her loved me at. Least a little. Guess I have my truth now

Sources: Reddit
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