Vegetarian refuses to serve meat at family BBQ; 'I wasn't going to cook ribs for them.'
In a post on Reddit a guy hosting a BBQ decided to only provide vegetarian options, and some people weren't happy. Is he right to cook what he wants, or was he wrong to not provide options for meat eaters? Here's his story...
'AITA for not accommodating meat-eaters at a barbecue?
I organized a barbecue for the first time the other day with my family and some relatives. I'm vegetarian, my wife isn't, my kids are free to choose. As I was the one who organized it, was the one bought all the food, and was the one barbecuing everything, I did it to my tastes with veggie patties, impossible burgers, corn on the cob, etc.
This was fine as far as my immediate family was concerned, but some of my relatives-in-law started complaining about there not being any real meat on offer and cracking rude comments about veganism and what have you (I'm not a vegan, and I never lecture people on morals, ethics, or anything like that).
Anyway, several of the relatives worked themselves up into a bother and one of them (my wife's brother-in-law) popped out to the supermarket to buy some ribs. When he came back, he placed the ribs among the ingredients and asked me to cook them up too.
I got upset and told him that I was doing the barbecuing, I had already bought enough food for everyone, and I wasn't going to cook these ribs for them, so he can take them home and do what he wants with them himself. He then started cussing me out for not accommodating meat-eaters and left with his wife (my wife's sister).
After this, my wife's father and several of the other relatives kept giving me the evil eye and shunning me for the rest of the day, and only picked at the food I made. AITA for not accommodating my relatives-in-law by cooking the food they wanted to eat?
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a**hole:
I refused to cook the ribs that my brother-in-law bought at a barbecue that I had organized. He claimed that I wasn't accommodating meat-eaters and stormed off, which ended up ruining the day for everyone. Was I the one at fault?
Responses:
Did you tell people it was going to be a vegetarian BBQ when you invited them? Or did you just say BBQ? (Also are you familiar with Aesop's fable about the fox and the stork [posted at the bottom]? Cause you better be ready for there to be no vegetarian options at any of your wife's family's events ever again...)
YTA. You were playing a stupid gotcha game and won a stupid prize of ruining your own BBQ.
They also completed missed the point of 'hosting'. They were cooking so you were eating what they like. Forget making others favorites.
YTA, OP maybe reflect a bit whether being a self-righteous a**hole is worth being alone with no friends.
ESH - You pulled a bait and switched and are upset you got called out on it. It was your FIRST time organizing a BBQ. I’m eat mostly vegetarian meals, but when I hear BBQ I think massive quantities of meat (ribs, brisket, sausage, and chicken).
Calling it a barbecue and having meat substitutes only is false advertising. YTA
Æsop's The Fox & the Stork
The Fox one day thought of a plan to amuse himself at the expense of the Stork, at whose odd appearance he was always laughing.
'You must come and dine with me today,' he said to the Stork, smiling to himself at the trick he was going to play. The Stork gladly accepted the invitation and arrived in good time and with a very good appetite.
For dinner the Fox served soup. But it was set out in a very shallow dish, and all the Stork could do was to wet the very tip of his bill. Not a drop of soup could he get. But the Fox lapped it up easily, and, to increase the disappointment of the Stork, made a great show of enjoyment.
The hungry Stork was much displeased at the trick, but he was a calm, even-tempered fellow and saw no good in flying into a rage. Instead, not long afterward, he invited the Fox to dine with him in turn. The Fox arrived promptly at the time that had been set, and the Stork served a fish dinner that had a very appetizing smell.
But it was served in a tall jar with a very narrow neck. The Stork could easily get at the food with his long bill, but all the Fox could do was to lick the outside of the jar, and sniff at the delicious odor. And when the Fox lost his temper, the Stork said calmly:
Do not play tricks on your neighbors unless you can stand the same treatment yourself.