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Grieving widow tells husband's brother and his kids 'you have 3 days to move out.'

Grieving widow tells husband's brother and his kids 'you have 3 days to move out.'


'AITA for giving my late husband's brother and his kids 3 days to move out?'

My late husband 'Adam' (M36) passed away a month ago. He had lung cancer and was terminal.

I live in his house that he owned (still haven't done anything concerning inheritance) his brother lost his job and place and moved in with me a week ago. I gotta admit I wasn't too pleased to have him move in with me but I had no choice after I got talked into it by family and since we had the chance to help each other grieve.

Here's the situation, he started randomly walking into the bedroom and excusing it as 'needing to borrow' something from Adam's closet. He wears his clothes and even started using his stuff (razor, laptop etc) he also got his hands on his piano which to me felt disrespectful because..Adam wouldn't want it touched or moved.

I try to have conversations with him about what's allowed/what's not but he'd throw the 'Would Adam want you to treat me like that?' line at me. It made me feel frustrated. I seriously started contemplating telling him to leave.

Now the current conflict, I finally brought myself to open Adam's closet and found a box full of wrapped gifts. I read the piece of paper at the bottom and he wrote that he had got me a gift for next year's occasions in advance since he knew he wouldn't be around much longer. I was absolutely stunned. I looked at the gifts but didn't open them.

There was a gift for my birthday, valentine's, our wedding anniversary, Christmas and so on... he said he wanted this gesture to also serve as a comforting method so I wouldn't feel so devastated since we know that grief gets tense during these times. I could not believe it.

I mean, he was always this thoughtful but I never just knew that his thoughtfulness could reach this level. I was out yesterday, and when I return I found that my nephews had opened all the gifts and ruined them. I was appalled, my joy instantly faded.

I had a huge argument with BIL but he said the kids were curious and that it was my fault for not concealing my stuff like I should. I told him he had 3 days to move out, he started ranting about how it's his brother's house and how I was ruining family relationships over 'few gifts'.

MIL got involved and took his side saying he's grieving and this is his brother's house and that I'm acting unhinged. Am I being too emotional? I wanted to feel his presence in his presents this upcoming year but I feel like it was ruined for me.


DoYouHaveAnyIdea16 says:

Adam's family sees everything Adam's as something they're entitled to. You need to get them out asap. Put a lock on your bedroom door, today and get boxes and tape to pack up their stuff and put outside. You need help with this. NTA

HappyGoLucky244 says:

I'd call the cops to supervise. He hasn't been there long enough to warrant an eviction, so I'd have them there to make sure it definitely goes smoothly. Also OP, I'm so sorry for your loss. It sucks that his family is acting this way.

NNancy1964 says:

He’s trying to slide in under you and drive you out. Change the locks now. Don’t be alone with him and don’t let him do the packing.

SquirrellyDog2016 says:

First, please accept my condolences on your loss. I know from personal experience how difficult it is to lose your spouse to cancer at a young age.

Definitely NTA. What your in laws are doing is attempting to stake a claim in the house. Guaranteed your BIL has been taking inventory of what he feels he and his family are owed. The true nature of some people come out upon the death of a loved one.

Of course your MIL would side with her son! What he and what he's allowing his children to do is completely disrespectful to you and the memory of your late husband.

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