Man scolds wife for interrupting meeting; she says, 'It literally took 5-7 minutes.'
A wife and big sister came to Reddit for answers to a dilemma straight out of a 90's movie. You decide who the a-hole is:
'AITA for asking my husband to join us in my sister's birthday since he was in the same restaurant?'
altythrow449 writes:
I f26 was invited to my sister's (18th) birthday few days ago at a restaurant. My husband didn't come because he said he had a meeting dinner with some clients. This made my family feel let down especially my sister who wanted him there and also her 18th birthday was a big deal to her obviously.
To my surprise, when I arrived I noticed that my husband was having his meeting at the same place, his table was right in the corner and he had about 4 men sitting with him. My parents and the guests saw him as well. I waved for him and he saw me but ignored me. He obviously was as much as surprised as I was.
My parents asked why he didn't even come to the table to acknowledge them after the cake arrived. I got up and walked up to his table. I stood there and said excuse me, my husband was silent when I asked (after I introduced myself to the clients) if he'd take few minutes to join me and the family in candle blowing and say happy birthday but he barely let out a phrase and said 'I don't think so, I'm busy right now'.
I insisted saying it'd just take a couple of minutes and that it'd mean so much to my sister. He stared at me then stared awkwardly back at his clients. They said nothing and he got up after my parents were motioning for me to hurry up. He sat with us while my sister blew the candles and cut the cake.
My parents insisted he takes a piece and join us in the selfie but he got up and walked back to his table looking pissed. We haven't talked til we met later at home.
He was upset and started scolding me in front of my parents saying I embarrassed him and made him look unprofessional and ruined his business meeting. I told him he overreacted since it only took few minutes and it was my sister's birthday and my family wanted him to join since he was literally in the same restaurant.
He called me ignorant and accused me of tampering with his work but I responded that ignoring mine and my family's presence was unacceptable. We argued then he started stone walling me and refusing to talk to me at all. FYI) I didn't have an issue with him missing the event, but after seeing that he was already there then it become a different story.
Also it literally took 5-7 minutes. He didn't even eat nor drink. Just sat down and watched.
What do you think? Was OP's husband being weird and rude, or was she the one who messed up?
Reddit had some disagreements as to who the a-hole was, but no one thought the situation was handled well.
conmeohaman has no sympathy for OP:
YOU & YOUR FAMILY DELIBERATELY SABOTAGED HIS CAREER. I'm a big birthday person and I'm disgusted by your ignorance and selfishness. Do you have any idea how professional business works? What you did was disrespectful to your husband and his clients and may have caused him to lose his job, especially if those clients are major ones.
How will you behave when your husband interrupts you during your business meeting that you already informed him of and drags you to another table to watch his brother blow the candles and have a piece of cake? Do you even work at all if you're this clueless? YTA, YTA, & YTA (You're the a-hole).
LingonberryPrior6896 says:
Now the clients will think he had them come to the same restaurant and had arranged to interrupt the meeting. Very unprofessional.
keeponyrmeanside shares:
Honestly, I disagree. If I were one of those clients I wouldn't think it was a setup but I would think it was extremely weird that he didn't acknowledge the wife until that point. Imagine you were at a dinner with someone and they just silently ignored their wife who came over. I would think they were an absolute weirdo and wouldn't want to work with them in the future. Clients are humans, they're not business robots.
The whole thing could have been avoided by him going 'oh gee, my wife is here to celebrate her sister's birthday. I didn't realise it was the same place! I'm just going to go over and say hello.'
Then the meal would be interrupted for 2 minutes, he could head off any further interruptions, and they could carry on. No bigger an interruption than someone using the bathroom. The wife shouldn't have pushed it once it became clear he wasn't able to talk, but the husband acted very oddly. ESH (Everyone sucks here).
CinnaByt3 writes:
Problem is that in a business setting there really is no safe way to handle the situation OP put him in. He responds and goes over for the cake cutting, he risks losing respect because his clients think he's not dedicated enough to the job/ his home life will interfere when they need him most.
He ignores her and tries to carry on business as usual, he risks being seen as cold or even abusive. OP and her family put him in a no win situation, and now he'll more than likely face repercussions over something that was no fault of his own and completely out of his control.
From sanguineelohim:
YTA (You're the a-hole) and you risk your husband's career and your family's prosperity by refusing to see that it's not only rude but unprofessional for your husband to devalue the client's time by skipping out on a BUSINESS MEETING to sing happy birthday to your sister. You were completely out of line.
Pandas_dont_snitch thinks:
It really depends on the client. I've had some that would have been fine with it and would probably have joined in on the singing. Others think they are the center of the universe and should be made to feel like they are VIPs at all times. They generally don't take well to interruptions.
I do think OP's husband could have briefly acknowledged the party, but her walking over to the table was even more thoughtless. I would have taken it up with him in the privacy of our own home.
Lipstick_On says:
YTA I have such intense secondhand embarrassment for OPs husband, what she did was absolutely mortifying! You also need to work on your communication, how did neither of you clock that you’d be at the same place at the same time??? Do you guys not talk?
Well, there you have it!
If you can help it, don't mix birthdays with business. But always respect your partner's boundaries.