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'AITA for calling my husband's 'SIL' 'trash' because she keeps hitting on him?' UPDATED

'AITA for calling my husband's 'SIL' 'trash' because she keeps hitting on him?' UPDATED

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"AITA for calling my husband's 'SIL' 'trash' because she keeps hitting on him?"

Emotional-Spirit-493

My (f25) husband (m29) has a very delusional sister-in-law (f27) who we will call Kelly. Kelly is the girlfriend of my husband's late brother. They were not married but she was allowed to be called sister-in-law for the sake of their 4yr old son, hence the title "half-cooked sister-in-law".

Kelly was actually a nice person at first. But her delusional tendencies just goes over the top. She once had a cousin of my husband accused of seducing her. Because in her words, "he was madly in love with her", which was never true as he actually was the same to everyone else as he was with her.

My issues started with her when she started targeting my husband and requesting all kinds of favors from him. She once asked him to sleep in their unit because she said her son was scared. Mind you, they only had one bed and it was on the floor in the middle of a tiny square room, which was the whole unit.

We asked her to just come over to our home which was bigger and had enough space for her to stay for a while. Since we also have a spare room she and the child could use. She refused and insisted on my husband coming over. My husband refused and told his mom who had Kelly go over to their house and stay for a while.

Second incident was when she insisted that my husband should go with her and her child to the mall and spend some time together. Cause according to her, she needs help because, "she's a helpless single mother with a fatherless child. And her child needs a father figure."

My husband asked if I could go with them but she made excuses why I can't go. My husband then outright refused and said to just bring the maid assigned to her kid. Cause my MIL sponsored a maid for them after all the things she complained about.

After all that Kelly starts to pick on things my husband likes. He likes that I wear skin tight dresses and leggings cause it complemented my bum. She started wearing the same clothes.

My husband likes the certain food I make for him. She learns how to make the food and purposely making too much so she can give some to him, in front of me. With a taunting smile. And it did not stop there.

She also tries to copy me as much as she can. Whenever I buy something new she buys the same thing the next 3 to 4 days. My husband and I like dogs so I adopted a puppy. And what do you know, she has one a week after. She copies everything, clothes, makeup, jewelry, etc. It was getting a little creepy.

Until one day at a family gathering she just outright stated that my husband's nephew, her child, looks so much like my husband and would pass as his kid. And my husband looks nothing like his nephew.

His nephew literally has his late father's face, like it was copied and pasted. While my husband and his brother look nothing alike. I blurted a very audible "no they don't". which was followed by my husband's sister saying, "Are you blind? They look nothing like each other. I would say he has his father's face."

Kelly then responded, "actually people would mistake them like a father and son." She then proceeds to whip out her phone and show the wallpaper of it as my husband and his nephew smiling together.

I look at the phone and her and said, "oh is this why you've been trying to get my husband's attention the whole time" Confused my MIL asked, "what do you mean?"

I then casually said "well why don't you ask Kelly. She's been trying to get my husband alone with her for some time now. Good thing you son's not an idiot." Kelly then shouts " what is your freaking problem? I was just trying to give my son some normalcy and experience having a family and a father."

"By trying to take my husband?!? You are a home wrecker in the making. And a creep. No wonder no one would date you. Your child would be better off without his trash mom in his life." I yelled back at her. I stood up and thanking everyone for their time and proceeded to leave with my husband.

On the way home my husband told me what I said wasn't nice. I asked him if he was defending her. He said no, he said that Kelly deserves to be told off but not in a humiliating manner and definitely not in front of the kids.

We didn't talk on the rest of the way home. I'm now here typing this out in the toilet. I just really couldn't take her delusional self anymore and that's why I exploded. So am I the ahole?

Here were the top rated comments after the OP's initial post:

LLVVVV

NTA. Maybe could have said it nicer but it needed to be said. And maybe the way you said it will get through to her!

amw38961

Naw she does not need to be nice to the woman who is actively trying to replace her....and is bold enough to do it in her face...

royalglass34

Love that everyone in the comments is like "phewww yeah not how I would have phrased that, bit rough..... but yeah NTA" lmao

No-Bad4766

NTA. Not the choice of words I would have used but you’re not wrong.

If you can, try to go low contact with her.

soulmatesmate

NTA She is in need of a husband. She knows you have a good one. If only she could get you out of the picture, surely your husband would be with her for the sake of his brother... No good options. If you get a restraining order, your nephew or husband is cut from the family.

Best I can think of is to have your husband tell her off and tell her to not come by. Have the only time this woman is around your husband be at family gatherings where family members other than you can take the roll of shutting her down. Other than her desire for your husband, is she a decent person? If she had a boyfriend, would that settle her down? Cause dating apps exist...

Just a few hours later the OP returned to respond to readers.

"Update"

Emotional-Spirit-493

Thanks for all the comments and votes... This will be a little update for what happened the past few hours. I get where I may be an ahole. But with the feelings I had, not really possible. I'm quite the person with anger issues. It has died down a bit because I got some help and also the support of my husband. But there are times where you really just can't control it.

Btw, my husband and I had a little talk about the incident... He said I wasn't wasn't wrong in the part of correcting her, but was wrong in the part where I've insulted her. He was just a little disappointed with how I handled the situation. Letting my anger take control of me.

As for my MIL, she called us and asked if I was okay. She did reprimand me for my actions but was also sympathetic of the fact that I was offended by Kelly. She asked if Kelly and I could come over and have a talk. Straighten things out and see if Kelly needs help.

She explained how Kelly's actions may not be favorable. But her situation is something to feel pity to. Mil thought that losing her son, Kelly's husband -ish, and having to take care of a child alone was too much for her.

Which is why she asks if it would be okay if I talk to Kelly and explain to her why what she did wasn't okay. And if Kelly refuses to listen then Mil said she would have to handle it herself. As for my husband he understands if Im not ready to face Kelly.

But he tells me it would be the better option. And suggests that we would go low contact with her for a while. Not completely cutting her off for the sake of the child. I'll update you guys if anything else happens.

As comments again began to roll in, the Kelly (the sister of the OP's SIL) found the post and commented.

Baconator_Apollo14

Sister of Kelly here...

I don't think Lexi is the ahole here. My sister has been a nuisance to everyone. You think she did all that because she's grieving? Hell no. She had been cheating on her boyfriend even before he died.

She even wants to abort the kid cause she doesn't know who the father might be. But she lucked out cause the kid looks like her dead boyfriend. That monster even went out of her way to steal my boyfriends in the past.

The last straw was my ex fiance whom she cheated with after the death of her boyfriend. None of my family members would talk to her. They cut her off completely. I, on the other hand, keep tabs on her. She's bat s#!!Tt crazy. Lexi, tell me what time your going to meet your MIL and that witch. I'll be going with you.

Here were the top rated comments from the rest of the readers:

Agent_of_Jotunheim53

So OP was wrong. She’s not a “homewrecker in the making.” She IS a homewrecker.

Liss78

Wow. Kelly's sister, you are awesome for backing OP here. Not enough people recognize the crazy in her post and why drastic actions were required.

CaligoAccedito

People like Kelly crave an audience; she's not going to take this as an intervention--it's attention. So nothing's going to change and if OP opens up to Kelly in any way, OP can expect Kelly to try to weaponize that in the future.

I've seen people like Kelly even take someone's exact words, repeat them as their own, and (as far as anyone could tell) begin to literally believe that they came up with that. If OP wants to go in order to please MIL, that's understandable, but I really hope she keeps her guard up 100%.

tclynn

Offer to take her son to raise as your own. He looks so much like your husband no one will ever know you're not his mother. (then grab the popcorn).

Aggravating-Ferret61

I think she should have a private sit down with this crazy chick and secretly record the whole thing. If she thinks no one will know what went down she may show her true colors then people will quit feeling sorry for her.

Ten days later, the OP returned with another update.

"UPDATE AITAH for giving my husbands half-cooked sister-in-law a reality check about her bullshit at a family gathering"

Emotional-Spirit-493

So I finally have an update for you guys. I went out to speak with MIL and Kelly(she brought her kid). Along with my husband, Kellys sister(Kayla) and Kellys friend and neighbor (Pat)This all happened at MILs house.

Pat is Kayla's connection to Kelly and her nephews life. Also Trigger warning about the things I'm about to mention. Also to those who said its not real, I really wish it wasn't so the things here won't be true, but they are.

I even thought this kind of thing only happens on TV shows or in family court or judge Judy or Jerry Springer or maybe Dr. Phil. And again sorry if this sounds confusing, I'm bisaya and not really that great in English grammar.

For starters MIL asked us about the incident and why it led to me name calling Kelly. But had us know that everything is being recorded by her. I told her that it may not be obvious to her but Kelly has been openly trying to get my husband's attention. Like how she wants him over at her house and how she wants to go somewhere with only the three of them. To make it seem as though they are a "perfect family".

Kayla snorted laugh at the "perfect family" comment. And said "really? I thought you already have a guy for that. Wasn't his name David? Or was it Michel. Oh wait! It has got to be Rasheed. You know the Indian guy you introduced your son to.

The comment got my MILs attention. Asking Kayla what she meant. To which Kayla said, "do you know why Sam (late BIL) didn't want to marry my sister Mrs. MIL. It's because he knew of her cheating escapades. And further more, Sam was my ex whom she stole by opening her legs."

MIL then looked at Kelly to which she said"it wasn't true. And the reason why he won't marry her is because of Kayla, because Kayla was seducing her husband." SIL chimed in to say "in which part are you his wife? You claim my brother is your husband and yet you were the reason why he died."

BIL died of a heart attack after a very heated argument between them where she threatened to take the child and forbid him from ever seeing the kid. In our country if the child is bellow 7 he must stay with the mother unless the mother is no longer capable. Kayla shouted "he was only waiting for the child to age at least 7 to get him off your filthy abusive claws!"

In all the chaos MIL is just there sitting and shocked of all the revelation happening in front of her. She thought that she can redeem Kelly's character in the "talk" but turns out there's no redeeming qualities in her.

So when Kayla said something about Kelly abusing her young son. she just couldn't hold it and slapped Kelly which made Kelly fall over. (I'm not mentioning the abuse the child went through,it's quite horrific and will only be available to our lawyer)

Kelly stood up with tears and anger and said "fine you want that disaster of a child?!? You can have him. Swallow him up if you can. I don't need an extra baggage to be with me." And took off, leaving the child in my MILS care.

MIL almost had a heart attack after everything that happened. She was so mad that she had been the reason why this has been going on. In her words, "I encourage her to stay for the sake of the child. I should have filed for custody even before". We told her it wasn't her fault.

She was just concerned about the child since he just lost his father. But after that MIL called up her lawyer friend and asked for help for getting custody of the child. She is now on the process of filing for custody with the basis that the mother is a danger to her child and had Kayla and Pat as witnesses for the abuse case.

We also had a therapist scheduled for the boy to help him process everything that's currently happening and for him to recover from the abuse. My husband on the other hand wanted to get the child and adopt him as our own after everything settles down.

This might be my last update but will be posting if anything comes up. Thank you internet strangers for letting me share this very unusual and crazy situation I had.

Here were the top rated comments from readers after this latest update:

I_ship_it07

Indeed there was way more action than in many of these series! Poor child, but you are all finally free of the witch! I have to ask, are you sure that the child is really that of the late brother?

The OP responded here:

Emotional-Spirit-493

Yes, if you can only see his father's old photos and him right now you'll know. They really look alike.

KingAndrew555000

I see how quick she is to drop her kid, she's definitely got problems. At least the kid is safe now and sounds like the family unit will come together for them. Best of luck OP.

The OP again responded:

Emotional-Spirit-493

Thank you, Kelly hasn't contacted us about her child since the incident. I guess that's a really great start.

AddictiveArtistry

My goodness! Good on you OP, and Kayla and Pat! You guys are saving that kid! I was so invested in this story, I clicked as soon as I saw the update!!! Please update again if you wish and let us know what happens with custody! And also, I might add, your English is better than many native English speakers!

It sounds like we might not have another update coming. So, what do we think? How would you handle this situation? How much do you love that the sister chimed in and agreed?

Sources: Reddit,Reddit
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