People who are shady hate having their business aired out. And if they're really shady? They'll project their frustration onto you and act as if you're the "bad guy."
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for asking her brother if he's finally divorced in front of his new GF. She wrote:
Like the title says...my (32f) older brother (38m) has been separated from his wife for 6 years. They don't live together, and I don't think they communicate much, except for when he tells me..."my wife is waiting for me to file for divorce since I'm the one who left her."
Anyway, he started dating a girl about 5 years ago, they broke up about 5 months ago. I had only met that girl once, briefly at a dinner, but didn't talk much or anything.
Fast forward to last week, I was in town and met this new girl he's been seeing for a month or so. We were having dinner and drinks, and it just slipped out of me "so are you fully divorced now, it's been 6 years?" The table went silent. he started saying he didn't know what I was talking about, that I'm crazy, and stupid, and he got divorced 6 years ago.
To shut up and not talk anymore. This was towards the end of the dinner, I paid my share and left quickly after getting the stink eye from both my bro and his new GF. As I expected he messaged me a couple of hours later, basically yelling at me and calling me the worst names possible, and then he told my mom and she started berating me as well.
I feel like an a** now, but it was an accident and I had no idea he's been lying to these women he's been dating. I feel like since we had a few drinks, I may have been tipsy and not thinking before I spoke...but sheesh no reason to call me the worst possible names out there. So AITA?
NTA, and I can't believe the people saying otherwise. I dated a guy who pulled this on me, implying that he was divorced when in fact he'd been separated from his wife for years but never legally divorced, and I've rarely been so hurt or angry.
I was around your brother's age, and (probably like the women he's dating and most women that age) looking for a serious relationship and the possibility of marriage . . . and that kind of lie wasn't a small one in that context.
Your brother is a massive AH for not being up front with the women he's dating about the legal status of his relationship. You, however, are a hero for not letting him get away with manipulating them.
NTA. Number one rule of lying is to make sure those that know the truth will also lie for you. He’s an idiot and should just file already ffs. I would suggest never lying for that fool, it’ll make you an even bigger ah that he is.
So your brother is a liar and can't stand if HE behaves wrong and somebody else brought it to light?
NTA. "I had no idea he's been lying to these women he's been dating." It sucks he's been lying to these women and it's stupid for him to think you would somehow magically know he's been lying his a&s off for 6 years. You can't help keep up a lie you don't know about.
OP is NTA here, her brother clearly can't cope with the consequences of his own actions.