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Woman bans entitled in-laws from swimming pool after unsupervised teens use it; AITA?

Woman bans entitled in-laws from swimming pool after unsupervised teens use it; AITA?


Having a family member with a swimming pool is a highly valuable resource, but things can get awkward when relatives think they can show up and swim whenever they need a staycation at Hotel Aunt Linda...

So, when a conflicted pool owner decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about a family feud involving their highly coveted backyard paradise, the jury of internet strangers was eager to weigh in.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for revoking our in-laws access to our pool?

My husband and I have a nice backyard with a pool and have always let his siblings take their kids to it whenever they want, both of them had keys to our backyard gate. Our one rule has always been that an adult has to be in the backyard with them. I've never changed this rule or put an 'age out' clause on this rule.

I came home a few weeks ago and my niece and a few of her friends were at the pool. My niece is fifteen, and she's a good swimmer.

I probably wouldn't have even minded if it was just her and one or two others but there were 8 of them and I don't know any of her friends or if they're strong swimmers, and in that situation they could still easily be having fun and miss out on someone struggling.

I just stayed in my house and kept and eye on them. But afterwards I called her mom and said I was really uncomfortable with the situation. SIL brushed me off and said it's not unreasonable and would be 'weird' if her and her husband babysat a whole bunch of teens and would embarrassing for her and blamed me because they don't have access to the house when they're over if we're not home.

I got really annoyed and said I need her to promise me this won't happen again and she just straight up wouldn't. My husband and I talked it over and decided to change the backyard lock and texted all of our his siblings that we're sorry, but pool's only open when we're home from now on.

Now my BIL and his wife are annoyed because 'we didn't do anything wrong' and most of the time when they want to swim at our house we're not going to be home (I work mostly on weekends and my husband is out of state two weeks at a time).

My husband says we should just give them a copy of the new key but I actually think it's probably time we put a stop to the whole thing anyway. My husband argues no way would his brother send his kids without supervision.

(They're all under five and he's not a terrible dad) but I'm just kind of over it all together especially since I'm always the one picking up the pool toys and putting patio furniture back and stuff after they're over.

My husband I think just wants his brother to stop texting him about it but for me it's kind of just making me dig my heels in harder because it's starting to be like using our pool is some kind of human right vs. a nice favor we've been doing for them at our expense. AITA?

Yikes...there are about to be a lot of rebellious teens breaking down their pool gates. Here's what people had to say about this pool problem:

Major_Barnacle_2212 said:

I didn’t have to read past a child being unattended at your pool, let alone with friends. NTA. You’re liable for ANYTHING that happens to them. Injuries - or worse. Your SIL doesn’t care because it isn’t her problem. I’m 100% with you.

Independent-Length54 said:

NTA. You and your homeowner's insurance would be impacted if someone drowned in your pool. You absolutely are right to control who uses your backyard pool. Your SIL and BIL are both entitled in their own ways. If they want to use a pool, you can do it as a family or they can get gym memberships or go to the public pool.

Independent_Tie_4984 said:

NTA. You're facing huge potential liability with a bunch of unknown teenagers using your pool without a responsible adult.

The niece that brought over seven other kids was definitely an a*shole and her parents are as*holes for defending her. You don't owe any of these people the use of your pool when you're not there just because they're related to your husband.

Maybe call your home owners insurance while your husband is there, put the agent on speaker phone and ask them what they think of giving free access to your pool to other people that may bring other people - while you're not there.

RiskHour2275 said:

NTA. This is how you get sued. I personally wouldn’t allow anyone to swim if I wasn’t home.

Critical-Joke-597 said:

NTA. Same rules for all. Then they can't accuse you of singling them out. Might want to install a back yard camera on the pool. You never know how teenagers will act or be guilted into something by friends.

Nautika1486 said:

NTA, that's a liability that if something happened you'd be on the hook for. They are selfish to think they can just use your stuff and it be ok. That's a whole new level of entitlement.

So, there you have it...

Everyone agreed unanimously here that that this woman and her husband are doing the right thing by keeping their family members safe, even if it ruins their summer. Good luck, everyone!

Sources: Reddit
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