'AITA for having a baby with the same man my cousin adored?'

"AITA for having a baby with the same man my cousin adored?"

Throwaway account because too many people know my main. And, yes, the story is just as crazy as the title suggests. I (32f) have a cousin "Mia" (32f) through my maternal size and while we were never besties, I considered us on good terms.

We got a little closer when my mom, stepdad, siblings, and I moved to the same city my cousin and her parents were in high school. She'd show me around and invite me to group activities that she was at, which I really appreciated but our personalities were just too different for us to consistently hang out together.

During the summers of my high school life, I would go spend it with my dad and coincidentally a guy named "Gene" (33m) would spend his summers with his aunt who's house was right next door to Mia's. Mia had the hots for him instantly but from how she would whine on about never getting him to date her, I could tell he wasn't interested.

I'd never seen him in person as a teenager but Mia had pictures and I agreed he was definitely a good-looking guy and the fact that he lived in another country and had a cute accent made him all the more attractive in Mia's eyes. Despite wanting Gene, Mia would go on dates with other guys which I didn't begrudge her but I did take exception when she was seen making out with my boyfriend at a party.

Mia claimed that it was an accident brought on by the alcohol and just as I was starting to forgive her Mia revealed she was pregnant and my ex was the father. That sealed the deal for me and outside of big family events I didn't see Mia at all. Mia and my ex's parents pressured them to marry before the baby was born and I did not attend the wedding despite my family's pleas/demands.

It was honestly one of the reasons why I moved in with my dad, his wife, and other siblings during college. After college, I got a job at a company that was doing business with a company that Gene was at and we officially met there. Gene recognized me as Mia's cousin and had a "what a small world" type of reaction. I had to explain to Gene that Mia and I "drifted apart" and he stopped bringing her up.

After that, we had a semi-causal relationship and I did genuinely find him charming. It wasn't until after I left the company and got a new job that Gene asked me out and I agreed. When we started to get more serious I got more detailed about what went down with me and Mia, and Gene confessed that he was aware of her crush he wasn't interested and just played dumb instead of being straightforward.

Fast forward to now and I am 5 months pregnant. Gene is the father and I recently made a post with a pic of us together and that's how Mia found out. I have been getting calls and texts from Mia, her mom, a few of her friends stating that I am TA for not reaching out to Mia and giving her a heads up at the very least.

I knew that Mia might feel some type of way about this, but I honestly didn't care. However, she's apparently devastated so AITA?

The internet was fully invested in this saga.

alien_overlord_1001 wrote:

NTA. Did she give you a heads up about making out with your bf? Was she worried about you when she got pregnant to him? The difference is she actually did something with your bf, and you simply met and fell for someone she once had a crush on, but didn't feel anything for her at all. Mia needs to get over it - karma can be a b#$ch.

Plus_Data_1099 wrote:

She has no right to be devastated he was a crush nothing more also she had a baby with your ex did she ask you before she got pregnant? She's just jealous stay no contact.

BlueGlue39 wrote:

NTA she's not in your life and deserves nothing. Also, she never had any claim on this man so now she's just embarrassing herself by making a fuss.

Typical_Golf3922 wrote:

"...getting calls and texts from Mia, her mom, a few of her friends stating that I am TA for not reaching out to Mia and giving her a heads up at the very least." "Really? Like she gave me a heads up when she was screwing my boyfriend?" Tell flying monkeys to "fly away", to put it nicely. NTA.

Yerseniapestis13 wrote:

NTA. She’s married and settled for the life she apparently wanted (based on her actions and betrayal of you). This is just a case of wanting to have it all and she does not give a fig about hurting you. Live your life and don’t pay her any mind. She obviously didn’t think of you when making out or getting pregnant by your BF.