Here's the story:
I met my boyfriend's son (13m) two months ago. He's a great kid and treats my kids (F10 and M11) really nicely, which I'm grateful for. It's my ex-husband's week with the kids, so I'm staying at my boyfriend's place. I found out they have a tradition of watching a horror movie a night in October until Halloween. His son lies in bed with him but will go to his room when it's over.
Well, last night, they both fell asleep before the movie was over, so I turned it off and tried to fall asleep. It felt weird having a teenager in the bed with us, so I shook my boyfriend awake and asked him to tell his son to go back to his room. He told me he understood and woke up his son, who wasn't as understanding. He begged to stay but lost the battle and went to his room.
I felt like I had messed up whenever he didn't say "I love you" back to his dad. I understand he was upset, but I don't feel comfortable sharing a bed with a teenager. This morning, he wouldn't talk to me. I assumed my boyfriend told him why he was kicked out, so now he's pissed at me.
My boyfriend and I took off today, so we both went to drop him off at school and like last night, he didn't respond to his dad saying, "I love you." he just said bye quietly and got out of the car.
Like I said, I felt uncomfortable, but was I right to do it? He’s a teenager and probably doesn’t snuggle with his dad often like that, so I’m afraid I ruined a moment. AITA?
Hmmm... I dunno if you're necessarily an AH, but it's not even your place duder, if you were uncomfortable you could have gotten up and slept on the couch. I think you shoulda just let them sleep. NAH but I do think you were in the wrong.
NAH. It’s totally reasonable not to want a 13 year old boy in bed with you for MANY reasons. But beyond that, OP’s boyfriend agreed his son shouldn’t sleep in the bed with them and the tradition, according to OP, is NOT that his son sleeps in the bed with him, it’s just that they watch the movie in the bed. OP was on board with continuing the tradition.
I’m shocked at the Y T A responses. Both the adults agreed he should go to his own bed, and children don’t get to make the rules in a household. Children who call all the shots grow up to be entitled adults. That’s pretty much parenting 101.
This isn’t about him calling the shots. This is about a kid realizing that his dad’s gf is actively asking him to leave a space he was once allowed to be in, and that’s hard. Will he learn? Yeah! He will.
And he can learn by OP finding her own place to sleep this time, and his dad can have a nuanced conversation with him if it appears sleepovers during his custody time will become more common.
NAH. he's being a kid, dad's being a dad and a boyfriend, and you're being uncomfortable with sleeping in the same bed as a teen. I don't see anybody really wrong here.
He's engaging in a bit of teenage angst about it. You probably didn't ruin the relationship with kiddo, he probably realized some natural changes are taking place and doesn't like it. big feelings
YTA. You should have left the bed. You met this boy 2 months ago? You overstepped your boundary love.
NAH. I probably would’ve removed myself once the son started begging to stay just because he was probably frightened by the movie but I don’t think you meant any harm. It’s an odd situation to find yourself in.