Woman calls SIL 'b**ch' for shaming her baby name; says 'I was hurt.' AITA?
'AITA I called my sister-in-law out on shaming my baby name on her forum?'
I (36) have a SIL (31) who as a hobby manages an online baby name discussion board. I just had my baby three months ago and she did not approve of the name. Before you ask, no it's not something insane, it's just old-fashioned. I don't want to share it for privacy reasons, but it's something similar to 'Astor' or 'Saffron', just an old-timey plant name.
She posted about my baby's name and held it up for ridicule, saying I was 'cursing' my daughter with a 'terrible and embarrassing name.' I only knew because my husband mentioned her forum to me so I looked at it, and everyone commenting was being nasty about my name choice.
I was hurt, especially because my in-laws are all Catholic and I picked this name because it's also a Saint name so I wanted to be respectful. I sent her an angry email saying she had no right to share my kid's name and hold it up for ridicule and I also called her a b**ch, which I know is wrong.
I'm just sad and it's hard enough breast-feeding and dealing with sleepless nights, but my husband thinks I overreacted and I think I may have.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
NTA OP. Only thing I'd add is that your husband should really have your back on this one. Presumably you both picked the name.
And do you know who's back he should have?? His daughters. Tell him nip this in the bud now so his family knows to respect your family's choices and your daughters name going forward.
But enjoy this precious time with your daughter and try to ignore SIL. Don't check her website for negative comments. Internet strangers opinions don't matter for your baby's name. I'm sure it's just right for her.
WolfGoddess77 writes:
I would need to know the actual name to be able to make a judgement. There are many flower names that would be terrible for a child to have.
princessbeatrix1923 OP responded:
Look man, I'm not going to share my daughter's name online, but it's not a weird name. Regardless, even if it was a weird name, do you think it's okay to publicly criticize her name online without my consent?
deathandtaxes2023 writes:
NTA - your SIL is though. Maybe don't call her a b**ch though (but pregnancy hornones, sleepless nights etc - i get it).
If your SIL had done a post a year ago about a random name and you got upset, then, you would be in the wrong. You can't expect everyone to love your name choice. BUT...you picked a name, and then your SIL decided to make a video about how awful it was. I don’t understand how your husband thinks you're overreacting.
princessbeatrix1923 OP responded:
He minimizes anything bad that his family does, it's just his way. I'm not thrilled with it, but I knew about it and I chose to marry him anyway because I love him and he's a good person. I should not have dragged the word b**tch through the mud that way.
a_mostly_happy_clam writes:
If you named your child Marguerite you are in the clear. If you went with something like Lima, that's a whole different kettle of fish.
princessbeatrix1923 OP responded:
Marguerite is cute and is similar to my real name too. This is also a very standard name, but like Marguerite hasn't been popular in a long time. Also, not sure if Lima is a Saint? I know Rose of Lima was a saint, is that what you mean?
Top-Pea-8975 writes:
My best guess: Juniper. St. Juniper lived in Italy in the 13th century, also the juniper tree
It would be an unusual name, but no reason to shame the OP. NTA
FatalInsomniac writes:
St John's Wort is a beautiful name. NTA.
Here are other names people guessed: Philomena, Beatrix, Rose, Magdalena, Esther, and Hyacinth. What's your guess?
princessbeatrix1923 OP responded:
Not a flower name.
You all have taught me Hyacinth was a saint, I had no idea. No, this was another saint.
Take comfort, with the first kid I asked if we could name him Ignatius because that my husband's Communion name and I think 'Iggy' is a badass nickname. He said 'hell no' Which I have always found very funny.