Woman tells sister her nudity is inappropriate in front of her husband and son.
AITA for asking my sister to cover up when she leaves the bedroom?
I 25f and my Husband 27 have a home together with our 4 year old. My sister Julia20 lives with us because we live close to her college. She has her own room.
Julia likes to leave the bedroom in a big shirt and underwear, or just a robe, or walk around the house in her sports bra, booty shorts. I’ve mentioned to her nicely to change before but she keeps doing it.
The other night she did it again and I just simply said, cover up. She got angry and said she lived there too and accused me of being worried my husband would sexualize her. I told her that is definitely not the case, but there was a young child in this home and it wasn’t appropriate, she needed to cover up before leaving her room.
We got into an argument and I basically said you could run around your room naked for all I care, but once you leave the bedroom you need to be covered. She didn’t like that and has been avoiding me in the house the past few days. AITA
Here's what Reddit had to say:
NAH. I think you’re within your rights as the homeowner to make this request—your house, your rules.
But I agree with her that this doesn’t seem like a big deal. I think it’s weird that you’re worried about your child seeing their aunt in athletic wear. Are you going to keep your 4yo away from pools where there could be women in two-piece bathing suits?
My daughter is much more uncomfortable with it than we are, so I warn her if she’s about to walk in on me changing clothes. Sometimes she decides it’s worth the trauma and comes in anyway. But when I was a kid I used to sit and chat with my mom while she got dressed after a shower, and we often shared a dressing room while clothes shopping. It’s just a question of individual comfort level.
I think OP is being disingenuous, though. This isn’t about her kid. This is about her being uncomfortable with it. She needs to think about why that is.
NTA, Teaching children to keep their clothes on can be a challenge, she's setting a bad example walking around in her underwear.
You are def worried about your husband and not your child. Is she paying rent? If not then I guess it's your house and your rules but this is a stupid thing to be upset about shes not showing anything and it's no big deal for a 4 year old to see that. If you don't want your husband seeing it then just tell your sister that and don't make up bs.
Considering the first thing the sister said was about the husband sexualizing her, it’s entirely possible she is absolutely doing this on purpose to give hubby a show.
I can’t really think of anyone I know who would be okay with a young woman flouncing around their spouse in a shirt and panties, regardless if she was a family member or not, or paid rent or not. If sis doesn’t like it she can leave.
Or she just likes being comfortable, geez.
I agree that she should cover up if OP wants her to. OP's house and all. But it all sounds like a completely normal way to walk around the house. It's casual and comfortable, especially if the house is warm. Not everything is malicious, she probably couldn't quite believe it really bothered OP that much because it's feels so natural to her.
Normally I'd say Y T A, but OP said in a comment the sister does not pay rent, pay for groceries, etc. That means OP rules go. Still seems a bit unnecessary and prudish, I'm not sure what the issue is with her wearing what is comfortable. But it's technically not her house.
OP, it might be helpful to have a conversation with your sister on why you want the rules. Why is it so important that your 4 yo doesn't see her dressed that way? Have a vulnerable and humble conversation and that might help more because it seems like a dumb rule from the surface level. NTA
I will say we have a new rule in the house that clothing isn't optional. Why? Because after seeing big brother and daddy running around the house in just boxers, our 3 year old who's not quite 100% potty trained decided it was okay to start stripping down wherever whenever with whoever at home.
Sure it's innocent toddler behavior, but a naked toddler trying to make a mad dash out the front door, or screaming for help to take his pants off in the car, or forgetting he's naked while watching TV and forgetting to go to the bathroom to go, is not fun.
We've had a lot less strip-cidents since implementing that clothing isn't optional. We've had more success with him leaving the pull up on and using his robe now that all the older people are modeling similar behaviors.