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Woman discovers SIL is breaking her good china; exposes her at family dinner with video.

Woman discovers SIL is breaking her good china; exposes her at family dinner with video.


Gaining sibling in-laws through marriage can be an absolutely wonderful experience, or it can be deeply frustrating.

When you vibe with your sibling in-laws, you get the best of both worlds: the friendship of siblings without the childhood grudges. But when there's tension or hostility, you get the worst of both worlds: the awkward fighting, but none of the freedom to express yourself without being accused of stepping on your spouse's family dynamic.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for serving her sister-in-law dinner on a kids' plate after discovering she'd broken some of their China.

She wrote:

AITAH for serving my (30F) sister-in-law (32F) dinner on a kids' plate?

My husband and I have family dinners at our house every month or so with our family. I have some sets of fine China that I like to switch out between the seasons that I've inherited from my grandmother. When we have our get-togethers I serve dinner on these plates. My MIL compliments them every time. My sister-in-law, however, has made comments to me that 'they're not her style.'

I honestly didn't think twice about her comment about it until this past February when one of my plates was put in the sink, broken. Chalked it up to an accident. In April we had another dinner. This time SIL was carrying both her and her boyfriend's plates to the sink, and accidentally dropped both. Again, no biggie at all. In May she broke two more plates and in June she broke a plate and a cup.

At this point, I was catching on. I brought up these concerns to my husband and he brushed it off as accidents. I told my mom and she said she thought my SIL was doing it on purpose and got me a camera to put in my dining room. In July we had dinner, and I had an opportunity arise. My MIL, SIL, and her BF joined us for dinner.

While our plates were still ON THE TABLE my MIL asked how my plants were doing and I said I'd show her! I told my husband to follow us outside so he could show her the plant he's growing, leaving SIL alone with her BF. When we came back inside 5 minutes later, her plate was broken. When they left, I pulled up the camera footage.

I saw her stand up when we walked out and peek around the corner, and then throw the plate on the ground. I kept this video to myself. That brings me to this past weekend, we had our family dinner and we were joined by My in-laws, SIL and her BF as well as my parents, siblings and niece. I served everyone, saving evil SIL for last.

I brought her food out on a child's plate with a sippy cup and got those kid's silverware with the plastic handles. She looked at me confused and said 'I think you mixed my plate up with your niece's plate' and I said 'No, niece's name is responsible enough to eat on a grown-up's plate. If you're going to act like a child in my home, I'm going to treat you like a child in my home.'

She tried to play coy but I had my Ipad ready and played the video to everyone at the table. She started sobbing, swiped the kid's plate off the table, and stormed out. My in-laws both apologized and offered to pay for replacement plates but I told them not to worry about it. Despite this we still had a nice time.

When everyone left my husband told me I was out of line and cruel, but I told him that this has been happening for months and I've told him it was bothering me multiple times. It's Wednesday, he's still being a little cold to me and I also got a text from my S-I-L's boyfriend asking me if I would apologize to her because 'I really embarrassed her.' I sent him the video again and he left me on read.

My husband just called me to ask if I was taunting her boyfriend because his sister called him crying that I was. So, AITA?

The jury of the internet was quick to adjourn.

lady_rain_was_here wrote:

NTA. You're amazing. You have nothing to apologize for. Your SIL does have lots of things to apologize for though.

magentahorse91 had a few clarifying questions:

NTA. Your husband and your SIL’s boyfriend are AHs though. You inherited those from your grandmother. SIL has something seriously wrong with her mentally. Who breaks someone else’s plates just because they aren’t her style? Who cares about someone else’s plates?

It’s a g0ddamn plate and it’s not her house. She’s behaving like a child, she deserves to be treated like one and called out. What a psycho. Does she display any other type of aggressive behaviours to you? She sounds jealous and is throwing a tantrum like a toddler.

OP responded:

We were totally fine before this. We've never been like super close but close enough to grab a coffee and get our nails done together. I've been married now for 6 years and I love my in-laws. She was mildly passive-aggressive in May when she asked if her BF could live with us while they were having a small issue but it was my husband that said no. But this would have been during the plate and cup breaking.

Background-Plan4274 posed a crucial question about OP's husband:

Just curious...why is your husband still defending her? Her own parents aren’t on her side. You’re supposed to be a team, and your husband is not acting the part. Nta, but your husband is.

And OP responded:

Just speculation bc husband is still giving me the cold shoulder, it's probably because that's his younger sister and she has been in and out of (self-caused) trouble these past few months. She was caught stealing clothes, her bf was caught stealing silly stuff like those bladeless fans and decorative outdoor lamps. Again I'm guessing but I think they're getting a thrill or something out of all of it.

KyotoDreamsTea wrote:

NTA. Excuse me! You dropped your crown. Well played 👏🏻. But I don’t understand is to why you must apologize when your SIL is deliberately damaging your property and doing it behind your back? By your husband? Don’t invite SIL and her BF anymore since she’s uncivilized.

iris-apophenia wrote:

NTA. Your SIL's behavior would be wildly inappropriate from a child, let alone from a 30-year-old woman. You can't just go around breaking people's stuff because it's not to your taste. It's petty and malicious, not to mention illegal. She clearly understands that, or she wouldn't be so embarrassed by you exposing it to the rest of the family. You didn't embarrass her, she embarrassed herself.

OP is most certainly NTA, but her sister-in-law has some serious growing up and accountability work to do.

Sources: Reddit
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