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Woman evicts brother and SIL after he brings up her 'adult dancer' past to humiliate her. UPDATED

Woman evicts brother and SIL after he brings up her 'adult dancer' past to humiliate her. UPDATED


There's a thin line between being a gracious person, and letting people walk all over you.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for evicting her brother after he embarrassed her at a group dinner. She wrote:

"AITA for kicking my brother and his family out after he tried to give me a wh*re-a-vention?"

I am having hard time feeling remorseful and I am unwilling to apologize for calling my brother out and for asking him to vacate my property. I have given him many chances to stop this behavior and my brother wont stop shaming me for having been a str*pper before I got my “prestigious job” (these are his literally words, I’m a nurse anesthetist).

He has been making offhand remarks about me having been a str*pper since he found out six years ago. He gets on these long tirades about how I am ungodly, unholy and that the sins I committed can never be forgiven unless I repent and let Christ into my heart. I am not religious, I’m certainly not a Christian and will never be one but my brother refuses to accept this.

Also I only started str*pping because his dr*g and gambling addiction ruined mine and our parents' life. He remortgaged their house, took out loans and several credit cards in our parents name and even sold our parents identity to his former dealer. I didn’t know how bad the situation was until I came home one day from university and found strangers living in our house.

My father was too embarrassed to let me know they were living out of their car. They also never reported my brother to the police because my parents didn’t want him back in prison (last time he went in for two years, me and my parents were blackmailed to pay his prison debt). So when I found out my parents, baby sister and baby brother were living out of their car.

I decided to work as a str*pper. I made good money and with that money I was able to house my family, pay off my parents debt,my brothers debt and put my younger siblings through college/university. During that time I also paid for his rehab and he got his s#$t together. Now he is happily married, employed, sober and with a child on the way (FYI I paid for his wife’s ivf treatments).

Last Sunday our parents invited some people over for a big catered dinner. My brother and his wife thought this would be the perfect time to turn it into what he called a “wh0re-a-vention” and embarrass me in front of all the guest. I completely lost it. I was so enraged that I spent most of the evening cussing him and my sister in law out.

I reminded him that I would never have been a str*pper if he hadn’t tried to ruin us. On Monday I drew up an eviction notice and sent it to him. I want to cut all ties with him and his family. I am truly done with him. Almost everyone is telling me I am right in being angry but that it’s terrible to kick him and his wife out when they are due to have their first child in nine weeks.

My parents are begging me to forgive him and honestly I feel like I have been and I am being reasonable I’ve given them 90 days! I am done being called the wh*re of Babylon and the downfall of mankind. Apologies for the length but I thought I needed you all to know as much as possible and I feel like I’m losing my mind.

I had to repost this because the moderators locked it down for breaking the rules. I have edited it and reposted it for judgement. Thanks.

Redditors had OP's back, all the way.

antique_add wrote:

I wouldn't give him 90 days, I get some friends through all the stuff out of your house. Change the locks and call the cops that he's trying to break in. I would never talk to your brother again, and if you ever does that wh*** stuff comments ask him how his d**g deals are doing. And how are the accommodations in jail?

Yeah he's born again which is always a joke. He ruined Your family makes them sleep in the car, and has the audacity to blame your past on everything else. And if you're so evil, why is he living with you. Forget his baby. Forget his life. Go no contact with him forever, and talk to your parents about their reaction, and that what he's doing to you. NTA, forget the lot of them.

Particular-Try5584 wrote:

NTA. I’m sitting here happily imagining you saying (in front of the guests) “Well…. YOU forced me to strip, if you hadn’t remortgaged the house, making my entire family literally homeless, all so you could get more dr*gs, then I wouldn’t have had to find the fastest way to earn the most cash to literally put a roof over our heads."

"I’m so glad you are now so noble and wonderful, move out of MY house, and pay me back the THOUSANDS of dollars you owe me you AH.”

He’s a bigger AH, because not only is he using this against you, he’s incredibly insecure and using bullying tactics to hide his own lack of capacity. Talk about a small dick syndrome!

Temporary_Agency_599 wrote:

NTA. A person who thinks so little of you and treats you so poorly should not have access to your life. Yes, it is unfortunate that his family will need to find a new place at a time when they are expecting, but too bad. Your dignity matters.

Listen, my parents begged me to turn a blind eye and to forgive my brothers so many times. I wish I didn't yield to their demands. That kind of poison harms you in ways that are not immediate apparent. Cut him off.

Marigold1245 wrote:

No, you are NTA at all. Your brother's consistent belittling and attempts to shame you for your past as a str*pper are cruel and disrespectful. Despite the fact that you made the difficult decision to support your family financially after your brother's addiction wreaked havoc on their lives, he continues to demean you instead of showing gratitude.

The fact that he tried to publicly humiliate you during a family gathering is completely unacceptable. Given the history of your brother's actions and the emotional toll it has taken on you, it is understandable that you have reached your breaking point and have chosen to cut ties with him.

You deserve to be treated with respect and should not have to endure ongoing ridicule from someone who should be supportive and grateful for your help.

Maybe you should remind Mr. Religious High and Mighty of what God has said about judging others. Matthew 7:1-5

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you."

After receiving a lot of support, OP jumped on with a quick clarification/update.

EDIT: For clarity I stripped for five years and used the money from that to claw myself and family out of debt and pay for my brothers rehab. I haven’t stripped in over a decade. I paid for my sister-in-law's IVF and bought the house my brother and his wife live in with my nurse anesthetist money.

Which is why he doesn’t feel bad about asking me for help now cause this money wasn’t made from sinning. Also my sister-in-law is just as bad as he is.

Redditors continued to have OP's back.

sphinx_lynx wrote:

NTA. I'd be cutting off my parents next. This has golden child vs scapegoat written all over; and my heart aches for you. Absolute Goddess I wish you all the blessings and joy a life could hold.

GothPenguin wrote:

NTA. You did what you had to do after your parents enabled him to the point of losing everything but their lives and the clothes on their backs. He should be thanking you not shaming you. You did nothing shameful unlike him.

Sharp_Geologist1559 wrote:

NTA. Oh my god, what horrible people. no one should be judged by what they have to do to survive, and even then, its nothing to be ashamed of. You were able to help your family in so many ways. It's extremely respectable.

Your brother and sister-in-law sound very ungrateful and cruel. I would have cut ties when he made my parents homeless, so more respect to you for being so kind. F*ck them, 90 days is plenty. If they wanted to live there, they shouldn't have treated you like that. Plain and simple 🤷

Diligent-Syllabub898 wrote:

Notice how everyone is asking for leniency and the brother doesn’t ask for forgiveness? NTA.

OP is NTA in any universe, it's high time she cuts off these toxic family members.

Sources: Reddit
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