Woman fat-shames 'heavier' dad and bro after mom tells her to put on a bra. AITA?
'AITA for saying that if I have to wear a bra at home so does my dad and brother?'
For starters, I (F23) have the smallest chest in the family. My brother (M26) and father (M57) both are a bit on the heavier side, but I have never used that against them before and it’s never been a big issue.
Last week my parents and brother came over for a surprise visit and I happened to forgo wearing a bra since it was just me at home loafing in my room and reading stuff. They wanted to stay a while and chat/have tea in the apartment so I didn’t really see a reason to put on a bra still.
Fast forward a while and I notice my mom is giving me a look. I wasn’t wearing anything particularly see through or thin, it was just a regular graphic-tee of my favourite hot sauce and some shorts. My mom told me to go change since it was inappropriate for me to be wearing “so little” with men in the house.
I told her politely at first that I didn’t think it was anything weird and I used to wear these exact clothes at our house all the time not that long ago and she never said anything. But then she started going off on a tangent about how I wasn’t little anymore and I couldn’t get away with having them just “swinging around”.
We argued a bit about it because I really can’t be bothered to put on a bra during the weekend when I have no plans on going anywhere, but she kept insisting that I was being a terrible host and “exposing myself.” My dad and brother were also on her side (brother more reluctantly) and just told me to do what she wants and it wasn’t a big deal.
I don’t know why, but I just felt so done and stressed at this point that I snapped “If I have to wear a bra in my own house because of my chest then so do dad and bro.” I could tell right away that my comment made my dad feel hurt, and I did feel immensely guilty afterward, but
I still don’t think I should have had to put on a bra for a surprise visit when they were going to leave soon anyways. My brother tells me that I took it too far and I should’ve just either ignored her or changed for that little while they were visiting. My mom also still refuses to talk to me until I apologize for my inappropriate comment. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
judgemental_turtle writes:
NTA. you can’t give me rules on MY body in MY house. also really creeped out by the whole idea of women having to cover up their bodies for men in their family.
Environmental_Art591 writes:
Mother of 3 here and my poor girls have been to hell and back on the path of motherhood. Now that I am not having more kids I am getting rid of my 'cheap bras' for more expensive, supportive and comfortable ones but you know what, I still frigging hate bras.
I will put on a sport bra if I know hubby's mates are coming around in advance on the weekends but if not, well stuff you. I wear baggy tops anyway so you never see anything and I am not going to torture my poor girls just for your comfort. What about my comfort in my home. NTA OP and FREE THE NIPPLE!!!
klurtin writes:
To clarify- this is your house and these are uninvited guests? And an unannounced visit? Your mother wanted to you go put a bra on - so you should remove yourself from uninvited guests, go into your room, put on a bra, and then are expected to entertain them?!?
To make the same people who came over unannounced feel comfortable with your braless-at your own home- chest?!? Nope. NTA
Feisty-Ladder-2378 OP responded:
Yes, it is my apartment that they were visiting unannounced. I recently moved out so my mom just wanted to do a little housewarming of sorts, though I wish she could’ve at least called beforehand. I probably would’ve worn a bra if I knew they were coming anyways
Motor-Ad5284 writes:
I have very large boobs and am not young,soon as I walk in the door, GONE! Hate the bloody things. God help anyone who told me to put a bra on in MY OWN HOUSE!! 🤨
shaunnotthesheep writes:
I have a large chest and often leave the house and go shopping and such with no bra. I simply hate bras and DGAF what anyone thinks
Thortok2000 writes:
NTA. Your comment was inappropriate, but, you were pushed to it when they wouldn't drop the matter. Move out and stop living with your mom.
Feisty-Ladder-2378 OP responded:
I don’t live with my mom anymore, I was at my own apartment and they came for a visit. But yes, I will apologize to my dad and brother about the rude comment; still not my mom tho
Least_Adhesiveness_5 writes:
Dude. She already moved out. Family made an unannounced surprise visit to HER APARTMENT and Mom started bitching that she wasn't wearing a bra then simply would not shut up about it. I'm not thrilled that she dragged the dad and brother into it, but primary Y T A is the mother.
Feisty-Ladder-2378 OP responded:
Yeah, I’m still kicking myself about the brother and dad comment. I shouldn’t have stooped to that level so I acknowledge I was a bit of TA for that comment
No_Rope_8115 writes:
🎶Doooooo your boobs hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie em in a knot?
Can you tie em in a bow?🎶
Me, to myself on a regular basis while not wearing a bra