Woman kicks out deceased mom's boyfriend and kids, they end up homeless.
AITA for kicking my mom's boyfriend and his kids from the house I inherited after my mom's death. They went to homeless shelter.
I really don't know if I'm AH in this case. I apologize for my bad English.
My(19M) parents divorced when I was 6. My mom got a boyfriend(Josh) and they started living together when I was 9. He had twin daughters, who were 4 when they moved in. Their mother was not in their lives anymore.
My mom took them in as their own. I admit that I was a little jealous because they had her full time and me only 50% of time. I think my mom loved them more too.
I was a quiet kid and spent most of my time in my room when my mom had me. I didn't want any siblings. My mom tried but to no avail.
By the time I was 16, I rarely spent time at my mom's place. And when I went to college I got an apartment, even though my mom lived in the same city as my college.
Mom tragically passed in December. Because Josh and her never got married for some reason, I inherited everything, including her house. I allowed Josh and the kids to still live there. I payed half the bills as he is struggling because of low paying job.
My lease ends in December and I decided to move into my house after. I sat down with Josh and told him I was moving in January. Since this is my house I will take the bedroom and he will move to my old room.
He started crying how bedroom is his safe space and all my mom's things are there which gives him peace. I told him he can move few of her things to my old room (my room is 1/3 of the bedroom). He started crying even more that he doesn't want to abandon their bedroom.
I was pretty pissed at that moment, so I told him to just get out of the house then as I don't have energy to deal with this sh*t. I have since cooled down. But 3 days later he sent me a message to notify me where he left the keys and that they moved out. I found out they went to homeless shelter.
I got messages from my mom's side of family how I am heartless and cruel to kick them out. How the twins lost mom and home in less than a year. Twins texted me how they cant believe their own brother made them homeless and asked me what the did wrong.
My dad and his family told me I did nothing wrong. I do feel bad for them, but I still think I decide who gets what room in my house. AITA?
From the comments:
Catherine1971 says:
YTA. Tell me what Josh did to you that was bad. Tell me what his kids did to you that was bad. You entire story is about how you resented their presence in your lives, and the fact that your mother was able to spread her love wider than just to you. You admit you would have resented even a 100% sibling.
Did you ever think about the love she got back from Josh and his kids, while you, even before they came into her life, hid from her in your bedroom?
Livid-Cheesecake-995 OP responded:
You are wrong. I didn't hide in my room while she was still single. She dedicated plenty of her time to me. Even after meeting Josh, I still didn't just hide in my room. I only wanted a little time dedicated to me. But I was getting none of it.
Zestyclose-Celery-41 says:
While you’re technically within your legal bounds… and while I understand that you don’t consider them your family, do you really think that it’s the morally right thing to not share any of the will with who your mother had considered her life partner at the time of her death just because they never married? ESH and acting purely on warped grief emotions.
Livid-Cheesecake-995 OP responded:
I let them live in the house and payed half of the bills(ok, not me, my dad) as a way to share with them. I will probably give them whats left of my mom's savings, after lawsuit is completed. I left that money alone because my mom was responsible for accident and left one person disabled(He is suing me right now). I think I am generous.
ChaserOnion says:
YTA seems you hold a grudge against the man and his kids.
Livid-Cheesecake-995 OP responded:
I don't, at all. All thanks to my dad. He always had to do damage control because of my mom's lack of involvement. He made sure I don't resent Josh and twins for that. But it's true that I don't see them as family.
ChaserOnion says:
You can deny that you don't but you did say your mom loved them more. Did she say that? Or are you only going on assumption?
Livid-Cheesecake-995 OP responded:
I was a kid. I resolved a lot of my issues through therapy and talks with my dad. I know my mom was the problem here and not Josh and the twins.
Head_Calligrapher670 says:
I wonder who paid for OP when he was 9 and Josh moved in with him
Livid-Cheesecake-995 OP responded:
My parents. My mom made 10-15 time more than Josh. She always supported him and the twins. Obviously she didn't mind.
Particular-Dare-6701 says:
Josh has been living in that room with your mom for over a decade. He has an emotional attachment to it bc that’s where he felt safest, in your moms arms. This isn’t some petty reason like he wants the bigger room bc he literally cried abt being separated from a space he shared with the love of his life.
Ppl are saying he didn’t have to leave and all that but he literally cried to someone so much younger than him, really poured his heart out and got a Idgaf just leave than in return. He probably can’t look at Op in the eyes after this hence why he left. I honestly feel bad. I can’t say your the asshole bc it is your house but u coulda at least gave him like a year or two of staying in the room and recovering from the loss.
Livid-Cheesecake-995 OP responded:
I will talk to him today. I can get hot headed and say things I didn't really mean. I hope we can resolve this and come to an agreement.
kimmie1223 asks:
One question that I haven't seen an answer to, is why OPs mom did not provide for her boyfriend of 10 yrs? If it was important to her, she would have, wouldn't she?
Livid-Cheesecake-995 OP responded:
I dont know why they never married. It was not my business to ask.
InfamousGrass0 says:
Top comment is saying that this is “Divided” but I’ve gone through almost 100 comment threads and every single one is “NTA.” My opinion? YTA. Sorry it’s harsh, and I know you’re going through a tough time, but so are they. As cliche as it is, treat others the way you want to be treated.
Livid-Cheesecake-995 OP responded:
I will call him today, hope he answers. I really dont hate them and feel bad for them. I just dont see them as family and I think I'm allowed to feel that way.