Woman offended after SIL invites husband to sibling day, excludes her, argument ensues.

No one likes to feel left out, no matter how old you are, and how little you're actually interested in the activity you've been excluded from.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for refusing to go hang with her husband and in-laws after not being invited. She wrote:

"AITAH for refusing to go with husband when I wasn’t invited?"

I (29) got a text from sister-in-law asking if she and my husband's brother could steal my husband (34) for a day. I said it was fine but wondered what they were going to do. She responds saying that they’re going to an amusement park and she’s taking her sister and doesn’t want her husband to feel left out so they want to take mine.

I felt hurt they invited him but didn’t even bother asking if I wanted to come along even if it did make it uneven again. I didn’t respond with any of that but said that it was fine. Few days pass and my husband comes to me asking about if I knew about them wanting him to go with them and if I said I didn’t want to go. I told him no that wasn’t it, I wasn’t invited. They only wanted you to go.

I told him what was said in the text and I understood they wanted him to go to keep his brother company since her sister was going too. He said they had passes where you could bring a friend each. So if I did go we would have to pay for me, however they didn’t invite me so I told him I wasn’t going to go if I wasn’t wanted. It’s rude to invite one and not the other in my opinion when it involves married couples.

My husband says they probably didn’t mean it in that way and that I’m being petty. That if I want to go then I should just come with them. I asked my best friend and another if they would have been upset and they both said they would be totally pissed but is my husband right? Am I being petty? Am I the ahole?

The internet had plenty to say.

Loading-Laundry wrote:

NTA - we know they invited him because they communicated they are inviting him. We don't know if they want to invite you or if there's an implied invite anywhere or not, because it wasn't communicated. Simple as that. There's no question of you being petty. If your husband wants a clarification, he's free to ask them for one.

SuccessfulCup6216 wrote:

NAH. Sister is having a day with her sister. Brothers are having a day with each other. I think you're looking into it too much but also you're not self inviting which is a plus. Go call a friend and do something with them while your husband is out. Me, I would go fishing if the partner was gone for the day.

Alexreddit103 wrote:

YTA. Just because you are married doesn’t mean you have to do everything together. Jeesh, you are not Siamese twins. Somebody said others would see two couples. Who gives a flying f#$k what others think in an amusement park? Also, as you stated, you being there would make it uneven.

Being 2x2 means that there will be interaction between these two groups, having 3x2 most definitely will have a very different dynamic, the party of 3 will flock together with very limited interaction. Just don’t be so butthurt, nobody excluded maliciously.

To be honest, your complaint sounds more like jealousy on your part to me. Let your husband enjoy this day, and make sure that you enjoy this day as well. Go to a Spa, go to the movies, do something you always wanted to do but had no time.

chaserscarlet wrote:

NAH you’re not an AH for refusing to go because you’re correct, you were not invited. But I also don’t think your sister-in-law is in the wrong.

Looking at this objectively, a couple got two free tickets to an amusement park and they both decided to invite their siblings. It’s not like this is a friend excluding you out of spite or you’re the only family member not invited, they only got one free ticket each and they chose their brother and sister (a very harmless choice).

Honestly though I don’t get why she texted you at all, her husband should have just messaged his brother directly but maybe she thought she was being polite.

Ciddry wrote:

YTA. Your SiL had an open free pass and wanted to offer it to her husband's brother so they could hang out together. Now something that wasn't about you is all about you.

Clearly, no one can agree on this - but it's leaning toward NAH or YTA.