Woman's parents get divorced twice; she refuses to attend their 3rd wedding. AITA?
"AITA for not going to my parents wedding before they get divorced again?"
So my(26f) parents (b50) got married when I was five and I was the flower girl. Around when I was ten they got divorced which no one saw coming because they NEVER fought. I feel like I have to mention my parents are both very wealthy and kept finances separate and so it was an easy divorce and obviously they could pay for it.
When I was about 17ish they decided to get back together. Me being 17, was overjoyed and was a bridesmaid at their second wedding. I really hope you see where this is going but they ended up separating again.
They didn’t tell anyone and didn’t get a divorce but we all knew they were separated and 3 years later they wanted to “renew their vows” in which I was asked to buy a nice dress for the occasion.
Surprise! They got divorced! Again! And only after 3 months after their renewal. After that I sort of just lived my own life because I wasn’t exactly thrilled at whatever they were doing and honestly really over it.
So a few days ago I got an invite in the mail to my parents 3/4th wedding after 6 years and so I called my mom about it. She was super excited and told me I was old enough to be her MOH and that she wants me to buy a 1500 dress. That’s a solid No from me.
I told her I’d be her MOH but I’m either going to wear the original bridesmaid dress (which is a cream color) or the other nice one I got (which is brown) because I’m not buying a 1500 dollar dress. She freaked out and told me that those don’t match the color scheme (pink and green) and that she knows I can afford it.
Which is true. I got an inheritance from my grandfathers passing. However, when my fiancé and I moved in together, he made clear he didn’t want me to be paying for most things and he wants to do it 50/50.
So we got a small apartment that he could afford to pay his share of and all of my extra money is in savings/college fund because we want a large family of 5-7 kids and they are… well expensive. So I reminded my mom of that and told her that I also would like to use my money on other things that won’t be worn once and I’ll have to buy a new one every 3-6 years
My mom called me a spoiled brat and that I’m wasting my privilege (I have no words) and that I’m telling her I won’t be apart of my own parents wedding. I told her that I was going to be willing to show up to the wedding and not be the MOH, but at this point I’m not showing up at all and told her to call me when they get their next divorce.
I hung up and got a slew of nasty emails from my family throughout the day and my friends are divided on if I made the right call with the premise that they are my parents. AITA?
SentientHashbrown said:
NTA, if they're both well off why can't they just buy the dress for you? It's their nth wedding and she wants you as the MOH so it makes sense for her to just get the dress for you.
Nitro114 said:
NTA 100%. What the f**k… who marries and divorces the same person multiple times?? You’re completely in the right not wanting to spend that much money for a one occasion dress when they most likely will divorce again and you’re gonna need the money with so many kids plan
jellyfish125 said:
NTA. I'm sorry but once it's the 3rd-4th time to the same person it's no longer a special event or moment. That's just a massive display of stupidity. It's totally reasonable that, if they are doing this every 5 years or so, to say that either they really should NOT be together, or, that they really want the attention.
Though, to me this situation reads as two people who are not compatible but can't stand not having someone to give them attention. If she let's you go, I recommend a book on divorce as a wedding gift. I think they need it.
ypsilon42 said:
NTA. And this isn't even bc it is their fourth wedding. If you want someone to get a 1500$ dress to be your MOH you have to pay for that or be ok with them saying no.
Celinder_pigen said:
Sounds like your mother doesn't want a marriage. She just want the weddings. You sound exhausted by all this divorce and remarriage, and I cant blame you one bit. My sister was the girl who cried wedding, and by the time the 4th wedding announcement came, I was happy for her, but I was just so over it. NTA.
fuzzy_mic said:
NTA - At the fourth(?) wedding, the whole MOH, big ugly dresses thing is just way too late, too fake. Not showing up is too strong a reaction, make nice with your parents and get a free meal.