Woman walks out on husband and kids to prove they don't appreciate her; AITA?
Balancing responsibility with a spouse is never easy, and adding other family to the equation almost always raises tension.
One woman at her wits' end took to Reddit when her in-laws and husband were ignoring her parental rules and she felt her children were suffering for it.
EmbarrassedMilk4107 explains her story:
AITA for taking my kids to my parents' house to sleep because my husband will not enforce the rules when his parents visit?
We live three blocks away from my parents and they see our kids almost every day. My husband's parents live a couple of states away and only see the kids a few times a year.
It's easy when we go see them since we only visit when the kids are off school. But when they come see us it is at random intervals through the year. Not a problem really they are excellent grandparents. With one small exception. They think our rules go out the window when they visit.
It's mean that we don't make the kids their favorite food every day. Why can't the kids watch tv with them before they do their chores and homework. Why do the kids have to be in bed so early.
It drives me crazy that I'm the bad guy because my husband won't put his foot down so I have to do it.
They came last week. On Monday as soon as dinner was over they wanted the kids to pay attention to them. They wanted to take the kids to see Avatar. On a school night. My husband allowed it. Last straw.
I told him that he knew that throwing the kids off there schedule screwed me over. So I gave him the choice of either enforcing our rules or I would. He said he would take care of it.
Second night there was a hockey game on. He wanted to watch it with our son who loves hockey. I reminded my husband that our son had chores to do and homework. He said it was just a hockey game.
I told the kids to get their stuff. I took them and a change of clothes and their homework to my parents house. My mom and dad will watch them and then take them to school in the morning.
I went back home and they were waiting for me. I'm being a controlling and abusive person by denying them time with the kids. I'm not the only person allowed to make decisions regarding the kids. They came all this way to see them and I'm being a jerk by keeping them on a schedule.
Fine. They are visiting for a couple of weeks. Wednesday after I picked up the kids from school and dropped them off at home with my in-laws, I went out for the first time in ages. I told my husband I would be out late and didn't want to wake anyone so I would be at my parents house.
I did the same thing Thursday through tonight. My husband has been calling and texting and coming over to tell me I need to come home because the house is a disaster because his parents won't do anything.
They are on vacation and they are there to see the kids not clean up. The kids are having a fun time with no rules and he has been contacted by the school because no homework was turned in on Thursday or Friday. I didn't answer those texts.
I said I would be back after his parents left or he enforced the rules. He said I was taking it too far and that it was affecting his work. Honestly tough sh*t.
The OP added some further updates once the comments started flying in:
My son just texted me about his gym clothes for today. I guess he never put them on the hamper and they didn't get washed. Now I'm wondering what else my husband didn't get done.
Kids are 9 and 11. In-laws visit four or five times a year for at least a week.
Comments started popping up immediately with readers having very strong opinions.
dianacharleston applauded:
Oh man this is brutal. I don’t even have kids and I know schedules are meant to be followed and not a suggestion. This was an epic move and seriously so much respect that you did that ✊
EvilFinch scolds the husband with:
To invite his parents for a few weeks who see this as a hotel with full service and doesn't want to lift a finger and he is at work the whole day...
So you spend the whole day with the parents and are expected to cater to all their needs (additional to the childcare that gets ruined by them and the household that gets harder because of them)? He just comes home in the evening to have fun. Now OP left and he finally sees a part of all the stuff she has done.
NTA Please don't give in. He couldn't handle two f*cking days. But he now has the weekend to tidy up the whole house! He needs to learn what you do the whole day and what a burden his parents are!
thebrinyocean sides against the OP and her actions:
Rare YTA. You won’t even let them go to the movies on a school night? Or watch a sports game? They’re children! Their evening shouldn’t consist of regimented dinner times and chores and then bed.
What a fun life they must lead. School; regimented evenings and no quality time with their grandparents who they only see 4-5 times a year. You’re definitely raising children who will resent you for their amazingly exciting childhoods.