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Woman refuses to give money for stepsister's medical care, is called 'evil' and 'sick.'

Woman refuses to give money for stepsister's medical care, is called 'evil' and 'sick.'


'AITA for refusing to give my father and his wife money that my father saved for me before he met her?'

My father married his wife when I was 12, four years after my mom died from cancer. My father's wife had a 3 year old daughter who, a year into their marriage, was diagnosed with a form of cancer that is tricky to treat. She underwent chemo and radiation, but the treatment did not work.

They were told about this alternative treatment that was not offered in any local hospital and it would require staying someplace else for at least three months with her. The treatment itself was also expensive. My father was never wealthy, neither was his wife and her daughter's father and his family were not in her life.

There was only one thing that was easily sold and would make enough money to get started on the journey and that was my mom's engagement ring. It was left to me, in her will, and was mine. Before my mom it was her mother and grandmother's ring.

My great-grandparents helped someone out and it was a gift that was then passed down because of its value. It was extra sentimental because my grandma was in a nursing home with dementia at the time and I had no other living maternal family left. My father decided that could be sold to pay for the treatment.

I said no, I begged him not to, but he and his wife told me her daughter's life was more important and that it would be selfish to keep a ring and let her die. I told my father I would never forgive him if he sold the ring and that he was stealing from me, because it was mine. He went ahead and sold it anyway and I stayed true to my word. I never forgave them.

I moved out in March, before turning 18, and cut them out of my life. I still hate the two of them and wanted nothing more to do with them again. My father tried to stay in my life but I told him I hoped he knew he lost his daughter (me) and that I wish it had been him to die instead of my mom.

His wife's daughter's cancer has returned and now they want money that my dad saved for me before he married her. It's not a lot of money at all. But I guess they still have lingering stuff from when she was sick before. I told him I would not give him the money and the fact he would ask for it showed that he didn't give a shit about me.

His wife told me that it's not about me, it's about saving her daughter's life and me being hung up on losing a ring that went on to save the life of a child. I told her that ring meant more to me than they did and that I would not give them any money, so they needed to leave me alone and figure out another plan.

My father's parents got involved and I ended up deleting most of my social media and ignoring them. But then I saw my father's wife while I was grabbing groceries and she told me I'm evil and sick and twisted and I should be ashamed of myself. I don't know if it's all just worn me down or what but I feel like I need to ask, AITA?

Info from OP:

The ring was worth more than the money. It's 2k I have that he saved before. The ring he got 14k.

They never tried to fundraise money either time. Just sell things and my ring came up first.

She's [stepsister is] not hated by me. My father and his wife are. But I don't blame the kid for any of this.

Here's what people had to say:

NewfromNY writes:

NTA . Tell her she is lucky you did not file a police report against your dad

Dry-Force-6041 OP responded:

I looked into it but by the time I was 18 too much time had passed. I kind of wish I had been able to do something before but I was younger and while full of anger and hate for them, I was also more naïve.

PristineSprinkle writes:

ESH Everyone seriously sucks here; you are literally debating on if a life of a child is WORTH the loss of a ring. The parents suck for asking their other child for everything they have. What ever happened to fund raisers and go fund me?

Dry-Force-6041 OP responded:

They never did that stuff. The ring was seen as easier.

bleogirl23 writes:

YTA. How can you sleep at night? How petty are you? I’d give the money to a friend down on their luck but not my little sister who is fighting for her fucking life? I understand the injustice of the ring being sold, and I would be upset but my God, wouldn’t you be more upset if your sister died and you did nothing to help?

Dry-Force-6041 OP responded:

She's not my sister. She wasn't my sister when I had known her a little over a year and then lost something precious to me and she isn't now. But I don't blame her for any of this. I do blame the adults who chose what they did. But most of all my dad.

Quantum_phoenixx writes:

I might get hate for this but OP, my heart goes out to you and your family and I'm sorry all of you were put through this you're definitely NTA in this situation.

However, all the comments about suing her parents just feel unnecessarily cruel.

Suing them when they're low on money and need financial support to help cover expenses to treat their dying child just feels so... wrong and it feels that people aren't thinking about the ramifications of putting them through a legal battle. Sure your dad was an AH, but suing him would affect the entire family including the sick daughter.

Dry-Force-6041 OP responded:

I'm not going to sue. It won't get me the ring back and that's what I care about. Money won't replace it and I know that.

Update from OP:

After some thinking and reading a lot of comments I have decided they can have the money and I am going to make it clear that I never want to hear from any of them again. If nothing else I need him to do that much. The relationship is done but the money can be theirs.

Sources: Reddit
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