'AITA for not allowing my husband’s family to sleep in our bedroom?' UPDATED
"AITA for not allowing my husband’s family to sleep in our bedroom for the weekend so that they don’t have to get a hotel?"
My(29f) husband (31m) and I are hosting Mother's Day weekend at our place with his family. We live 2 hours away from my in laws. We only have one guest room that his sister and her family are staying in and my father in law got a nearby hotel. His brother has two small kids (6yo and 3yo).
Anyway, my husband texted me while I was at work saying he offered our bedroom for his brother and his wife and his two kids to stay in for the weekend. I got upset with him, saying he should have asked me first and that I don’t want to spend our Mother's Day weekend sleeping on the couch in our own home. So I asked my husband to retract his offer.
We live in a 3/2 (one guest room, one office and our master) with a pool near the beach. Our family never visits us since we’re 2h away, so that’s why the family wanted to come over for the holiday weekend.
He apologized saying he didn’t think it was a big deal. Now I feel bad but I still don’t like the idea of giving up our bedroom…. I feel like a big b*tch now… So AITA?
Here were the top comments from readers:
NTA. Never let anyone else (family or friends) sleep in your bedroom. They as guests can sleep in the guestroom or in the living room.
If they want privacy, they can go to a hotel or to your in laws' house.
NTA. He should have communicated with you before offering up your shared room.
Absolutely NTA. Is your husband willing to retract the offer? I would give up my bed in certain circumstances perhaps, but I’d never offer without checking with my spouse first. Offering up your bed without your consent isn’t cool and you’re not wrong to be upset.
NTA. You don’t sleep on the couch to accommodate others in your own house
NTA. If they can't fit in the guest room they can get a hotel. Could the kids sleep in the living room to give the adults more room in the guest room?
The OP responded here:
We have an office and air mattress the kids can sleep on. His explanation was that it’s just us and there’s four of them so makes sense they take the master.
The OP clearly had more to share. And share they did with an update the next day:
I told my husband that I would post on Reddit to see what others thought and he told me to be prepared to see how many people will call me the A. Lol to our surprise a lot of you agree with me that it’s weird to let 4 people sleep in your own bed.
He has good intentions and wants everyone to be together. He says he wants to hang with his siblings when the kids are put to sleep and if they go to a hotel that will make it less fun.. I’m definitely feeling guilted in to backing out of saying no and allowing it. Thank you all for your responses and validation.
Yes we have an air mattress for the office. He’s saying we should sleep on the air mattress or the couch (couch is more comfy) and let his brothers family sleep in our room since there’s 4 of them and only 2 of us.
I’m definitely a people pleaser especially for his family but the situation sucks. Even though many of you say NTA, I still feel like the villain because it’s a “simple fix” and “logical” to just suck it up and sleep on the couch. Going to have hubby read the comments later…