There are times when the only way to shut down an obnoxious conversation is to match the energy of the person pissing you off.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if her and her brother were wrong for snapping on his friend after game night. She wrote:
This is maybe more of an "are we AHs" cause it was my Brother and me, not just me. So I (32F) went to pick up my brother (29M) and his buddies (26M) (E) and 31M(J)) from their game night, something I regularly do since My brother often volunteers to be my DD if I go out to the bars.
But as they are getting I'm the car, his one buddy J starts talking about how he can't go to the Friday game cause he has to 'babysit so his wife can go to a movie or something' really sarcastically, well I looked over at brother who is shotgun who has an eye twitch going on, so I know he's been probably b#$ching about this most the night, but I let it go, figuring he's venting and maybe being a dick but whatever.
He's got a 5-month-old at home and I know it can be frustrating and sometimes you need to talk it out with your buddies. Well it keeps up, I swear it was just nonstop him talking, 10 minutes into this drive he's mentioned babysitting probably 15-20 times, so as we pull up to a red light I calmly look back at him and go 'I didn't know that you weren't the father of C's (his wife) baby.'
He starts freaking out asking what the f#$k do I mean, how could I f#$ken say that, and well I guess I was a spark in a keg cause my brother snaps 'Well a f#$ken father doesn't babysit their f#$ken kid, you're their parent so you f#$ken parent them, you f#$ken idiot, and your wife is allowed a night out if you'r3 spending 4 hours out with us playing f#$ken 40k. You worthless jack#$s.'
Now my brother is a big guy but a gentle giant, so I don't think J or E was expecting that, well the whole car went silent. Them out of shock, my brother fuming but I was silently laughing since he said exactly what I meant and I'm used to my brother's more wild temper having lived with him.
We dropped J off first and he took off like a scared dog with his tail tucked between his legs and E was like, that wasn't cool but I couldn't figure out if he was talking about what I said or if it was my brother's blow up.
Well apparently C called E earlier this morning because J was sulking around the apartment all night after getting home and is currently being pouty as hell and keeps commenting about how he's a good father and partner, so E called me to say we were way to hard on him and how it's stressful being a new dad. I don't really think we are AHs cause he was sounding like an AH.
But maybe I'm just biased cause hearing men say they are babysitting their own kids is a huge pet peeve both my brother and I learned from our Dad but maybe I'm wrong and we should apologize.
NTA. J needed to hear that; not from his wife (who he already resents) but from his buddies who he respects. You were right; a dad doesn't babysit, he parents. Men need other men to call them out when they are being AHs to their wives and children.
He's being pouty and sulking because the comment hit home, and sometimes it sucks to look in the mirror and see how sh#$ty you've been. I sincerely hope he takes your brother's rant to heart and adjusts his attitude. His wife deserves a partner, not a babysitter. Thanks OP for being one of the good ones. Your
momparents raised you and your brother right!
NTAs. Was the delivery harsh? Yes. But it seems that it was needed. If your brother wants to he can apologize for his manner of telling the truth. And yes fatherhood is stressful, so is motherhood with the added physical recovery. Keep calling out the idiots, maybe find a gentler way.
GOOD FOR YOU GUYS!!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
This dude is an idiot. You did the world a favor by putting him in his place, and probably saved him from an imminent divorce. NTA at all.
NTA. My father, in the sixties, also let loose on anyone who said "babysitting" in reference to their own kids. God forbid it was one of his brothers. Someone might get hurt.
Thank you from all the moms whose husbands thought they were doing their wives a favor by watching their kids.
OP and her brother are certainly NTAs here, they provided J with a much needed kick in the pants.