Woman snaps, tells sister exactly why she'd never leave daughter in her care.

The truth hurts. And oftentimes the people who can't handle it are the ones pushing hardest for a conflict where it all gets aired.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she's wrong for telling her sister exactly why she'd never be guardian of her daughter. She wrote:

"AITA for telling my sister why bluntly she's not the next guardian of our new baby if something happens to me or my husband?"

Me and my husband recently had our first child. After IVF treatments, thousands and thousands of fertility, and a few miscarriages we had her. Our family is proud and it's just such a blessing I have her. Our family, my mom and dad and my two sisters and their SOs and kids, gather every other Sunday for lunch where grandma cooks and everyone can relax and the kids can play.

I was holding my daughter when business came up. Me and my husband own a business and insurance, and etc. My parents are the beneficials if something ever happened god forbid. My husband has disavowed his family since he was sixteen, so it's just my side. One of my sisters, let's call her K, suddenly said, that's weird.

Why are our parents the ones to inherit money if something happened to us when they are older and retired (have their money) while she is struggling to pay her bills. K has been engaged for the last 11 years to a man that's 25 years her senior and is very odd. She had 5 kids by him. She and her family gets evicted yearly due to the damage they do to the apartments and are overall struggling.

In my opinion, something that they do to themselves. She refuses to work and allows her kids to rampage. She's also recently gotten in trouble legally because she was selling her food stamps for cash and was caught. I immediately tried to change the subject but my mom didn't notice and said, "Well now with the baby if anything happens, well adopt her and the business."

My sister snapped and demanded to know why she wouldn't be the next in line to raise the baby, you know, in the event me and my husband's DEATH. I tried to change the subject again. She demanded to know why I'd trust our 70-year-old parents with a baby over her, an 'experienced mother.' I snapped too. I told her how she's getting evicted every 6 months.

How every time she thinks her boyfriend is about to leave her she gets pregnant. Years ago, she had a CPS case opened against her for leaving two of her toddlers in a running car at a gas station. I had some.low blows, I admit. Her kids are always dirty. Snot down their faces, knotted hair. Their teeth are rotting out of their heads. She gathered her kids and left.

My other sister sent a 'not cool text.' My family had two members that died in 9/11 and we have a family gathering every year so my parents are asking me to apologize and put this behind us so we can focus on that tomorrow. No! I'm sick of it. She's calling out my new parenting when she's barely hanging on?

She used to drop her kids off on our doorstep, barely clothed, and then return the next morning. And she's upset I don't want to give her guardianship if me and my husband's death happens?!?!?

Commenters kept it real.

lipgloss_addict wrote:

Yipes!!! Where is the rest of the family while her kids are being mistreated?

Stranger0nReddit wrote:

NTA. Your sister shouldn't ask questions she doesn't want the answer to. She clearly was ready to argue about it before you even said anything. Ultimately, the only thing that matters is the care of your children and doing what is best for them. Your parents seem to be the best option for now, but I hope you have determined a secondary choice since they are getting older.

God forbid something were to happen to you and your husband, and your parents are no longer around, I'm sure you don't want your kids to go to K.

No_Investigator_6528 wrote:

NTA. Methinks someone was sniffing out a potential payday.

Do not apologize. I don't know why people are so obsessed with phony apologies anyway.

OP responded:

I called her a s#$t mom. Im overwhelmed. I have a newborn and it's hard. I don't understand having 5 young children and their needs, but on the outside they aren't being met. Her five-year-old isn't potty trained. I hate this word but I'm triggered.

I refuse to give her an apology, but I want to just to continue the peace. Her being upset about me not wanting my child to be raised by her after the worst thing ever when she is a mess just is so weird.

swamp_bunny_ wrote:

Absolutely NTA. From what you're saying she clearly is not fit to take care of your kid, though with your parents' age I would recommend having a backup, while you may have made some digs at her if she's not even able to take care of her own kids you can't trust her to look after yours.

Why she expected you to I'm not sure, was there any indication she was going to be the one to take on the kids? Or was she just straight-up assuming? (Also congratulations on the baby).

Clearly OP is NTA here, hopefully, none of these hypotheticals have to be returned to.