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Woman suspects husband had child with her sister; demands DNA test.

Woman suspects husband had child with her sister; demands DNA test.

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Reddit is the open forum of the internet, where the cream (the highest drama) rises to the top (the most upvoted posts). Today, an incredibly juicy if slightly unhinged story made the grade. Let the deskchair psychologizing begin.

Childfree sister [32f] thinks her husband [35m] is the father of my [26f] baby...

I have 2 sons. My older child [8m] has a father who is involved in his life, my ex, and that's all fine. My younger child [2m]'s father is not in the picture, and never has been — which is for the best.

I know who he is, my son will know who he is when he's old enough, and until then my son has my boyfriend [29m] of a year and my brother-in-law [35m] of about four years.

I did not ask my brother-in-law to be involved with my son. I knew both he and my sister were childfree, and do not particularly like kids, so I thought at best he'd be a distant uncle.

But while I was pregnant, I admitted to them that I felt alone and was scared at the prospect of true single motherhood with this child whose father wasn't involved. My brother-in-law said that I wasn't alone, because we were family, so he and my sister would be happy to be there for my child.

When my son was born, my brother-in-law stepped up in a way I didn't expect. He's still very firmly childfree, won't babysit or anything like that, but he's an involved uncle.

He cares about not just my younger son, but my older one, too. He's always up for a game of catch with them, he tags along on days out to the zoo or the park, and in a crisis I can ask him to do the school run, though he prefers I don't.

But it's nice to know that in an emergency I have someone who cares about the kids nearby.

This is enough for my sister to decide that, despite me telling her who my son's real father is, her husband is the father of my younger son.

She says they look alike, which they don't, and that he wouldn't be this attached to a kid he didn't create. I said she knows who the father is and I can't believe she'd accuse me of screwing her husband, and he has a completely normal uncle/nephew bond with both kids.

She threw him out of their place right after this conversation but he moved back in the next day, and it seems their issues are resolved, but my sister still thinks he's the father of my child, and doesn't trust me, and she's very happy to tell our siblings [35m, 30f, 28m] this.

I want to resolve this issue, but my sister is unwilling to hear reason. What can I do to regain my sister's trust and get her to listen to me?

TL;DR: Sister thinks I shagged her husband because he's close to my kid. I'm trying to tell her that we didn't do anything but she no longer trusts me. How do I convince her I'm telling the truth?

The sister's wild and illogical leap to conclusions had the comment section so full of theories the internet came to close to crashing nationwide, probably.

OneDay said:

I don't know, offer her a DNA test, that she can pay for, to set her mind at ease? Maybe she will stop then.

OP responded:

She has asked for a DNA test, but she wants it done through one of those ancestry-type services. I've said that I'll do a DNA test in an actual lab that will test for paternity, but I don't want to use one of the online services due to their lack of data protection.

My sister says that as the nearest lab to us is a few hours away, this is proof that I don't want a DNA test done as I'm trying to make it more difficult for us to do.

Bus27 said:

Do you think that your sister may have another reason to suspect that her husband would cheat on her, and she's pushing this issue because of that?

Excuse my mental gymnastics but maybe she's chosen to push this issue in specific because she knows it isn't true and she can make herself feel better knowing it isn't, while still expressing distrust for her husband?

Maybe she's feeling jealous that he spends time with your child, or she's feeling insecure about her decision to be child free or her husband's commitment to being child free?

OP responded:

She talked about being childfree a lot. When we were on the phone discussing this she was stressing that they were both childfree and therefore he wouldn't like a child he didn't create. But my sister is definitely childfree, no hesitation or reservations, and the same goes for my brother-in-law.

The theory of my brother-in-law cheating with someone else would be really shocking to me, as he's a nice guy and he and my sister have always seemed to have a marriage that worked well for them.

Pepperpat64 said:

Based on your comments about the DNA test, in my opinion you've done all you need to do to convince her. Your offer was quite reasonable and you're smart to insist on a professionally-performed test at her expense.

She's lucky you're even willing to offer that much considering how she insulted you!

OP responded:

It's not even totally at her expense. I actually offered to split the cost 50/50 when she said that her issue with the lab tests was them being more expensive.

I don't know what more I can do at this point, but I feel like I have to do something. She's still my sister, and I hate not being on good terms with her because before this we were really close.

Pepperpat64 said:

She's being ridiculous. I'm so sorry. Do you think there might be another reason besides cost why she's adamant about the Ancestry test?

OP responded:

The only other reason I can think of is the situation with the real father. A lab like I want would just test the paternity between my sister's husband and my son, whereas an Ancestry test would store his information and match it to other people.

It's possible my sister wants to link my son up with his bio father. What I can't understand, if this is her motivation, is why she would want to do that as she knows the dad is uninvolved for good reasons and I don't want to re-involve him.

JustAsIcanBeSoCruel said:

Sounds like she is jealous that her husband is paying attention to people other than herself.

And yes, I absolutely think she wants you to do the ancestry website to invite more drama into your life.

Pinkee808 said:

So I am child free and I think I might have some insight for you. Your sister needs counseling for one.

Your sister is ensconced in the r/childfree mindset and she probably actively dislikes kids. This is all speculation from me okay? I don’t think your sister expected her husband to actually enjoy interacting with kids and it’s made her uncomfortable and she can’t figure out how to deal with her own emotions.

I’m gonna guess she hasn’t so much as held your kids as babies. She is probably very “ick” about kids in general and thought her husband was the same way; so surprise, surprise when husband is actually playing with and holding kids- she is now questioning if he is truly childfree.

This is your sister’s problem to sort out. She may very well self-destruct her own marriage and life and that’s not on you. I don’t really have any advice except to gently suggest counseling for her but no guarantee she will listen.

Spankenstein said:

She might think he will change his mind about kids now seeing as how much he loves interacting with them.

It's a really unfortunate situation, and the internet's helped a bit to sort it out, at least logically. But remember kids, no matter how good the internet theories — don't quit your real therapist.

Sources: Reddit
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