Woman tells dad expensive birthday gift was 'ugly'; gives it away; he's angry. Updated!
'AITA for giving away an expensive KitchenAid standmixer my dad got me for my birthday that i thought looked extremely ugly?'
Background: for my 24th birthday, my dad got me a grey metal KitchenAid standmixer for my apartment. It was about $700 I think. However, I did NOT ask for this and honestly I freaking hate the color as it does not match anything in my place and it's also too big.
I gave it to my friend who liked it and was moving to a different state. My boyfriend then got me a cute black standmixer that fit into my apartment a lot better so that's what I have.
My dad was over last night and he noticed that the grey standmixer was gone and replaced by the black one. He asked where it was and I told him the truth (namely, that I thought the grey was ugly so I gave it to my friend and my boyfriend got me the black one instead).
My dad was shocked and said the grey standmixer had cost a lot and that he thought I would have liked it so that's why he gave it to me as a present. Maybe here's where I'm the AH: I said if he would have been more observant, he would have known that I absolutely hate the color grey (it's my least favorite color) and everyone in my life who knows me knows that.
I honestly wasn't trying to be rude. I was just stating a fact. But my mom called me today and told me I really hurt my dad and need to apologize for 'throwing away' a thoughtful birthday gift my dad had put a lot of money and thought into.
I don't think that's necessary. I think after my dad gave me the standmixer, it became mine and I could do anything with it. And I didn't 'throw it away', I gave it to a friend. So AITA?
Q&A with OP:
pudge-thefish asks:
YTA over color? Why didn't you just tell him you want to exchange it for a different color
standmixerthrowaway OP replied:
The size was way too big as well and I didn't want to bother him or me with the logistics of exchanging it for a different kind
mutualbuttsqueezin asks:
You didn't want to bother with him getting his $700 back? You are seriously ungrateful and inconsiderate.
standmixerthrowaway OP replied:
I thought it would have been more rude to ask him to return it? That seems a lot less polite imo than just accepting a gift as is.
Here's what people had to say:
notmappedout writes:
YTA. this is one of those instances where it's time to come back down to earth. because at age 24, expecting people in your life to know your least favorite color is absolutely bizarre. and saying it's because he isn't observant is wildly mean. did you even thank him for the $700 gift?
CourtOk3082 writes:
F***ing hell. The attitude on you is absolutely astounding, dude. YTA. For starters, saying you hate grey but love black makes absolutely no sense. Almost any color scheme you can pair with black works with grey. Also, you’re 24. Grow up. Not everyone knows your least and most favorite colors unless they ask. In fact, most people only know other’s favorite colors.
JustKindaHappenedxx writes:
OP is a brat who doesn’t even appreciate a gift that most people drool over. All because it’s not the right color - are you kidding me? If someone gifted me an ugly brown (my least favorite color) KitchenAid or other expensive product I might be a bit disappointed on the color but ecstatic to have this really nice thing that I never would have splurged on for myself.
WhoUBeGhostin writes:
YTA. That mixer comes in like fifteen different colors. I’m sure your dad would have exchanged it for a color you like, including black, if you had used your words. I bought my twenty year old two pieces of Le Creuset for her first apartment. One piece she loved the color and the style, the other she liked the color but not the style.
So you know what she did? She used her voice, told me she didn’t know how much she would use that piece and we got something different. Simple huh? No misunderstanding, no hurt feelings. I’d be embarrassed if you were my kid. It’s not the fact that “it’s a gift and my choice”.
This isn’t a Walmart gift card. YOU chose not to communicate and hurt your dads feelings. Bet he won’t make any thoughtful gestures again.
Update from OP after reading the comments:
okay so clearly I'm the a*&hole. I'll apologize to my dad. I didn't think it was such a big deal. But clearly I'm wrong. To explain some things: 1) I didn't say the 'observant' comment to hurt him, he kept saying he picked out grey because it matches everything (which it does not) so that's why I elaborated on me hating grey
2) literally everyone I'm close with (except my dad I guess) knows I HATE grey. It's almost a running joke at this point 3) my friend is really into cooking/baking and I wanted to give her a moving-away gift, she's not just some 'rando' person I gave it to