'AITA for telling my kids the real reason her father and I are divorced?'
"AITA for telling my kids the real reason her father and I are divorced?"
I 38(f) have 15, 12, 9, and 6-year-old daughters. Their father and I got a divorce when my youngest was just 2 years old. My ex-husband had an affair with my sister 35 (F). My ex-husband and my sister had been sneaking behind my back and I found out when I came home early from my shift.
They gave me every excuse in the books, I had waited it out for the sake of my kids to see if my ex-husband would stop. Six months later the affair was still going so I served my ex with divorce papers. But here’s the real thing my sister aka my daughter's stepmom had been telling my daughters how I was the one who broke up the marriage.
I found this out when my 6 y/o daughter came up to me crying asking why I broke her family up. I was so confused, so I asked her more questions. She told me how my sister had been saying I cheated on their father and more BS. I had called the rest of my daughters down stairs and asked them to tell me what their stepmom had been saying they proceeded to tell me everything.
So I told my daughters the truth. I could tell they didn’t believe me at first until I told them to ask their grandparents and father what had really happened.
My daughters went back to their father's house this past weekend, when I got a call from him calling me all types of names in the book and him asking if I wanted to ruin him and our daughters' relationship he hung up and no less then 10 minutes later my phone was being blown up calling me all the names in the book and saying how I’m “a sh%$^y mother.” So AITA?
Edit: For those asking how my oldest girls never noticed how aunt was becoming stepmom , I can’t even give you a straight answer my girls never questioned it so I just never brought it up.
The comment section was lively on this post.
QuinGood wrote:
NTA. You need to contact an attorney about this situation. They have attempted to poison the girls against you. It's possible that the custody agreement needs to be changed, with supervised visits only to their father. I hope you can get this worked out. Hugs and good luck.
BH_Falcon27 wrote:
NTA. Your sister, their stepmom, had been spreading false information to your daughters, which led to confusion and emotional distress for them. As their mother, you have every right to clarify the truth and set the record straight. Children deserve to know the truth and be able to form their own opinions based on accurate information.
It's not fair for your sister to manipulate the situation and paint you as the one who broke up the marriage. Your actions in telling your daughters to verify the truth with their grandparents and father demonstrate transparency and honesty. Your ex-husband's reaction and name-calling are inappropriate and disrespectful.
It's crucial for parents to communicate respectfully and prioritize the well-being of their children. You did the right thing by being honest with your daughters and helping them understand the truth about the divorce.
Cryptographer_Alone wrote:
So, this is really 'AITA for countering lies with truth?' NEVER. Your sister tried to screw up your relationship with your kids. Did a pretty good job of it, it sounds like. That's parental alienation, and you can take your ex to court over it for more custody time.
And really, did your sister think that the rest of the family would go along with that lie? She stole her bed and made it. Now she gets to lie in it. Ex too. Good riddance. NTA.
mayfeelthis wrote:
NTA. I dunno how you got ‘stepmom’ out, let alone live with that in your reality. Stronger woman than I, I’d be across the world with my kids.