My (f35) family is Mexican and we live in TX. Everyone in my family is bilingual and they tend to mix English and Spanish constantly. My siblings spouses have all learned some Spanish, some better, some worse, but they can still participate in all conversations.
I’ve been with my husband for 10 years. He took a few classes but he found it too difficult and decided that he can’t learn a language as it isn't his thing just like math isn’t his thing and he dropped it.
Every family gathering (there are a lot of them) he feels left out because everyone switches back and forth and he doesn’t understand them. I have to translate for him and it really must be uncomfortable for him.
This year he said that he’s not coming, he feels excluded and even when he talks with non Mexican spouses, they mix and match languages and he felts it’s to mock him because there’s no need to.
I called my mother and told her that they must promise to not speak Spanish because it’s excluding my husband or were not coming. My mother was angry, she told me they’re not going to police their speech, that they were accommodating for the first few years but he made no effort and it’s ridiculous that he doesn’t even try. I told her to at he did try but she knows it’s difficult for him.
She said that he’s no longer invited and I can come on my own. I was really angry and repeated my ultimatum. This didn’t go down well. My whole family is pissed off, my husband is on my side and I don’t know anymore. AITA for giving them the ultimatum?
Here's how people judged OP:
Yta. Well your husband is ta but you're the one joining in so.
He’s had 10 YEARS, and he still can’t participate in a basic conversation. And thinks other spouses are doing it to ‘mock him’. What an entitled ass YTA
Mmmhm. I'm Australian in an area without many Spanish speakers at all. I have absorbed bits of Spanish from American tv. Him not speaking Spanish after being married ten years sounds like a choice.
Agreed. I know some Spanish and always trying to learn more. I work with Filipino nurses and try learning at least some of their phrases. This united States mentality of unwillingness to learn another language is absurd. Literally every other country has more than one language in elementary school... no effort on his part in the least if after 10 years he knows nothing in that language...
A couple classes simply isn't enough to be able to claim he just can't get it. Him not wanting to try is not your family's problem. Him being upset people dare speak a language he can't and feeling mocked also isn't anyone's problem but his own.