Woman tells infertile sister, 'I hope you never have kids.' AITA?

Sisters can be best friends, worst enemies, or often times... both! But what happens when sisterly jealousy becomes something more dangerous?

When a young woman returned home after the birth of her 3rd child, she found that her sister had done something horrific. When confronted, the sister denied everything, and that's when words started flying... the kind you can't take back.

So, this young mother (u/SisterFued1927) took to Reddit to ask:

"AITA for telling my sister I hope she never has kids?"

I'm 22f. I have 3yo twin boys and I had a baby girl not even two days ago. My sister, Jodie, is 34 and has been suffering with infertility for the past 10 years, as well as repeated miscarriages. I used to feel really bad for her and also a bit guilty as I got pregnant twice while being on contraception.

It caused some tension between us when I was pregnant with my twins because she was jealous, and I was already feeling intense guilt. This time around, she wasn't as jealous but I still felt it was unfair.

As my husband and I have decided we are done having kids, I offered to be a surrogate for my sister as soon as I'm cleared after this baby and she seemed like she was absolutely over the moon with that. In turn, she offered to watch the twins while I was in labour with my new baby, which was a relief on my part.

I went into labour on Thursday morning, and Jodie came over to watch the kids while my husband and I went to the hospital. She seemed like she was in a great mood, and promptly rushed us out the door.

Everything seemed fine, until we got home this morning to find thousands worth of destruction to pretty much every baby item we've purchased. Even the crib mattress was torn open. Everything was ruined.

Jodie tried to pin it on the twins but they're 3, and this level of destruction had to have been done by an adult. My twins can't even reach some of the stuff that was destroyed, and they certainly do not know how to open diaper packages and tear them apart.

I know kids, especially toddlers, can do a lot of damage in a short time but I also know my children aren't capable of doing what happened.

I told my sister to get the f*ck out of my home and stay away from me and my family. I got really angry, and I said a lot of stuff I shouldn't have, but one of them was, 'I hope you never have a child, and if you do then I'll tell it exactly what you've done to mine.'

I told her we can't afford to fix the damage she's caused but since she still denies it, she wont cough up. I told her because of her the baby doesn't even have a safe space to sleep.

My parents caught wind of what I said, and even after I explained the situation, they still think I'm being an as*hole for saying something so vile to my sister 'after all she's done for us'. Obviously my judgement is clouded , so am I an as*hole?

What do you think? Did OP overreact and should apologize for what she said? Or was her sister's episode dangerous for her children, and she was well within her rights to say what she said?

Reddit ruled a pretty unanimous NTA. Here are the top comments:

CrystalQueen3000 says:

NTA. Your sister flew into a jealous rage when faced with all the things she wants and doesn’t have. Can you imagine how terrifying that was for your twins? Those poor babies.

Neither-Entrance-208 writes:

OP, you need to file a police report for destruction of property and maybe even contact CPS. Your sister is unwell and should not be allowed to provide care to children.

You didn't know, but now you do. Never let your sister anywhere near you or your children. Your sister needs mental health services and she's not going to get them if your parents rather pass the blame unto you.

Neither-Entrance-208 comments:

The sister was supposed to be watching the toddlers when she was on her rampage. They would have heard and seen it. The babies wouldn't understand what was going on or why. What they would feel is confused, alone, and unsafe.

The person meant to provide and comfort them was raging against their home and against things for babies like them. I don't even want to think about what she might have said to them during this time.

Hesthea says:

OP, should take her children to the doctor for a check-up too. She might have abused them in ways that only professional eyes might be able to detect. Ring the police and make a statement against your sister for destruction os property. File a restriction order against her so that she cannot ever come close to your children.

You didn't know what type of person your sister was and what she really thought about you and your children but now you do and she is a danger. I would reconsider letting them be with their grandparents from now on too since they took your sister's side and might let her have access to your children while you are not nearby, putting them in danger. They are enablers.

Original_Sail writes:

My mother did this when i was 4. Screaming rampage, tearing the room apart, ripping down curtains, while i cowered in the corner with my younger sister. I'm 41. I still remember the helpless terror.

Mirewen15 says:

Absolutely ridiculous. OP even said that she would be a SURROGATE! That is a major tax on the body that she was willing to go through for her sister. What a vindictive thing to do. Thousands of dollars and she blamed two 3 year olds? I wouldn't let her step foot in my home again.

So, there you have it!

If you do happen to fly into a jealous rage, don't do it around children! And especially don't try to blame them for it. Good luck, OP!