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Woman tells sister living rent-free she needs to move, sister says 'my kid will be homeless.'

Woman tells sister living rent-free she needs to move, sister says 'my kid will be homeless.'


Setting boundaries with a loved one in need is extra tricky. On one hand, you don't wanna leave them in the lurch, but on the other hand, you need to honor your own limits.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for telling her sister she has to move out despite not having other immediate housing options. She wrote:

"AITA for telling my sister she has to move?"

I (25F) own my mom's old house. When she died 5 years ago my two siblings and I inherited it equally, but it was not fully paid off and in order to close out the estate it needed to be sold. I had the money and was emotionally attached to the home, so I bought out my siblings and own it outright now.

I live in a different city a few hours away from the home, but use it for family gatherings like Christmas every year, where my siblings and their families are always invited. I also used it for some week long vacations in the summer when I wanted to get away. Last June, my sister (29f) and her husband were going through a rough period.

They lost their apartment and asked me if they could move into the house with their child (2M). I told them yes under the conditions that I could come visit over the summer like usual with a bedroom to sleep in and that Christmas could still be hosted in the house. They agreed to these terms and moved in.

I did not charge rent, but implored them to use that money to save and get themselves out of the debt they were in. This August, when I came to visit, I had to stay on the sofa because they were using the extra room for her husbands office, which was not the agreement. I understood that they were living there and just trying to be comfortable so I let it go.

Over Christmas, I asked them about plans for the holiday. My sister informed me that she was struggling mentally and did not feel like hosting the family. She said it was going to be too much work. It was the first Christmas in my life that I didn’t celebrate at my mom's house. This week I asked them to move out of the house. They were not following the agreements, and so I thought it was fair.

Now she’s calling me a monster for kicking her child out of his home. AITA?

The internet was fully in OP's corner.

DnDRobynUK wrote:

NTA - your home, you’ve been more than generous. You bought them out of the house, where did the money go. They’re not paying rent, where did that money go...why are they not saving to buy their own place or find their own home. She’s banking on manipulation for free digs and the emotional blackmail of her child.

While I understand she may not want to host Christmas or want a room empty for you when you want to use your home if she wasn’t willing to actually adhere to the agreement she shouldn’t have agreed. Boot them out and don’t look back tbh.

bamf1701 wrote:

NTA. You have been extremely generous, allowing them to live there rent free with only very few conditions. Your sister has not lived up to those conditions, therefore the agreement between the two of you has been broken.

My mother had a saying: where there is support, there is control. Your sister made her and her family dependent on your support, therefore you have a very large level of control over their lives, but your sister seems to not be able or willing to accept this.

She may live in the house, but she does not own it, therefore she is subject to being evicted, this is a fact. And they have had plenty of time to be saving money to get their own place. Unfortunately, there tends to be a tendency for people who stay places rent-free to assume that they will be able to stay there forever.

dishonestgandalf wrote:

NTA, assuming you gave them a few months notice. You gave them 7 months rent-free already, that's plenty of time to get back on their feet. If you want to be nice about it, give them until June to make it a round year; that's 5 months notice, they can't seriously be upset about that.

purple_pumpkin007 wrote:

NTA. You have been more than generous with them and they have taken advantage from you. You need to try and get them out ASAP, they will fight the hardest to NEVER move out of the place! You are not making their child homeless, they are - with their inability.

OP is NTA here, her sister needs to wake up and take action in her life.

Sources: Reddit
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