'AITA for always being overdressed, making my wife look 'bad'?'
"AITA for always being overdressed, making my wife look 'bad'?"
I work in a corporate setting which requires me to always be in formal apparel. I have gotten use to wearing formal clothing to the point that I pretty much prefer to wear it most of the time. Whether I'm picking my kids up from practice, visiting family, or going shopping except for when I go to the gym, I wear tailored pants with a button-up of some sorts.
I know that I'm overdressed most of the time but I just enjoy being dressed well and it has become my style. My wife on the other hand is completely opposite of me. She likes wearing casual and comfortable clothes like sweatpants and hoodies which is completely fine.
But my wife says that when we go out together that I make her look like a slob because I'm overdressed making her look like she doesn't take care of herself. We visited my in-laws a couple of days ago. I was wearing my usual style of clothing while my wife was just wearing a hoody and some sweatpants.
My wife's mother made a joke about me looking nice in my clothes and than jokingly said that people would never assume that my wife and I are married and that I should encourage her to not dress like a slob. I just laughed it off and told her that my wife just likes being comfortable.
This didn't go over well with my wife and told me when we got back home that I should stop dressing like a pretentious person and wear 'normal clothing' like everybody else and stop making her look bad. I told that nobody cares what she wears and that I don't tell her how to dress so she can't tell me how to dress. This turned into a petty argument that shouldn't have even taken place at all. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
RB1327 wrote:
OK, pants with a button-down shirt is not 'formal wear,' it's closer to 'Casual Friday.'
NTA, and if your wife think she looks like a slob in comparison, then that says something. It's not as if you're in a top hat and tails.
dinkumwalrus wrote:
NTA. Why does your wife think it's okay for her to dress how she wants, but it's not okay for you to dress how you want? That double standard is unfair.
I have no problem whatsoever with how my wife dresses and I would never dictate what she should or shouldn't wear. But I also expect the same treatment from her towards me.
DJ_HouseShoes wrote:
I don't know what I was expecting from your title, but it wasn't what you wrote, because your style of dress is absolutely fine. Your wife's sweatpants and hoodie are not normal, everyday dress, especially if the two of you are going out somewhere. NTA.
author124 wrote:
NAH I would guess a lot of your wife's feelings are coming from the criticism from her mom based off the interaction described in this post, and that saying she likes being comfortable probably didn't help, but that doesn't make you an AH for wanting to dress nicely.
Better way of responding in the future might be, 'I dress this way because I'm used to it for work, and [wife] looks great in everything she wears. Nobody else's opinions matter.'
TheRealEleanor wrote:
NTA. I’m an athleisure-wear person. I will say there is a time or two that I’ve turned down my husband’s offer to go out to a fancy dinner because we are already in the car and I’m rocking my messy bun and leggings, but that’s MY problem to deal with, not his.
I’d be curious to know your ages- wondering if it’s just a confidence thing based on age or other life circumstances (since you mentioned kids).
I'm 38 and my wife's 29. We have 2 kids together and I also have 2 kids from my previous marriage.