'AITA for refusing to split my college fund with my stepsister?'
"AITA for refusing to split my college fund(s) with my stepsister?"
Here's the original post:
My mom passed away when I was 10. My parents were already divorced at this point, so I was the sole beneficiary of her estate, so I have a trust fund which my granddad manages for me until I turn 25 (I’m currently 18). As a part of the trust, my mother left me behind some money to pay for college which I will be getting access to soon.
My dad remarried my stepmother shortly after his divorce with my mother and she has two daughters (Hannah, 16 and Emma, 18). Since my mom passed, I’ve been living with my dad full time and spend school holidays with my grandparents. For the first few years, things were okay but then my stepsisters started to complain about my time with my grandparents
(because they took me and my cousins on fancy international trips and they were jealous) and my dad started trying to force me to limit contact with them. My grandparents ended up threatening to sue my dad for grandparents’ rights so he stopped, instead he started refusing to give me permission to fly abroad and wouldn’t let me keep all of the gifts my grandparents bought me.
Recently, my dad and stepmom sat me and Emma down and informed us that they wouldn’t be able to help us with college because they’d run into some financial trouble a few years ago and had to use the money to keep us afloat.
Emma was devastated and when I didn’t have the same reaction, my dad asked me why I wasn’t upset. I explained that I still have the money mom left me, that my grandparents also had a separate college fund for me and that my aunts and uncle (mom’s siblings) also had smaller college funds for me.
My aunt on my dad’s side also gave me $5k as a high school graduation gift/money for college so I should be able to complete my degree without needing to get any loans as long as I work part-time too. My dad already knew about the money my mom left me but he had no idea about the rest.
Emma and my stepmom started insisting I had to share the college funds with Emma, otherwise it wouldn’t be fair. I refused, this is my mom’s family’s money so I don’t think I should share with someone who isn’t even related to them.
My stepmom started screaming at me and calling me ungrateful for all of the things she’s done for me and that she was going to sue me for all of the money she spent on me growing up.
My dad got angry with her and told her to stop and now they’re not speaking to each other. He said he’s happy that I’ll be able to go to college without any debts but if I would please consider giving her at least one of the smaller funds.
Since then, Emma and Hannah have been horrible to me. My stepmom keeps forcing me to do all of Emma’s chores and Hannah said if our parents divorce it’ll be all of my fault for being a greedy b***h. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say:
RhiRhi202 said:
NTA - tell yourself grandparents what’s happening. Can you go live with them? I’d get out of the house. They will continue to treat you like crap.
DrKrash38 said:
NTA. Now that you are 18 you should consider living going to live with your moms relatives to get away from your stepmom.
[deleted] said:
Absolutely NTA! It's your money from your family, and you should keep it to go to college like you planned. On a side note, some of your life sounds sorta like Cinderella.
[deleted] said:
NTA - Sorry about the loss of your Mom. If your Mom could be here now she’d tell you that she saved that money for you, not for you and the daughter of your Dad’s next chick.
Your Dad just admitted that he and his next chick haven’t saved anything for school. You’re Mom clearly knew this was a possibility, probably since she knew your Dad’s next chick was spendy, so your Mom took care of her own. Why should her money benefit your Dad’s next chick and her daughter?
What your MIL is doing is trying to guilt you into giving her and her daughter money because she is jealous, selfish and entitled.
You’ve lost out because of her selfish, entitled attitude. You’ve missed out on great vacations with your grand-parents (who aren’t getting younger.) Why should they take your Dad’s next chicks daughter on vacations, that’s silly.
This is your money, given to you with a purpose by your Mom. Defend that purpose, defend her legacy. Talk to your grandparents about this as soon as possible. They will help.
Lastly, don’t let her guilt trips work. When others raise their voice in the matter, bury your frustrations, take a deep breath, stay calm, cool, collected, and reasonable. DO NOT raise your voice. Let her scream about how she’s entitled to the money while you look at her and say “Mom would never have intended for anyone but me to get a dime.
I am carrying out her wishes. I’m sorry but my decision is final” while she screams like a crazy banshee. The calmer you stay the crazier she will get, and you’ll see exactly how much she is emotionally and morally in the wrong. You are in the right here, don’t be gaslit into thinking you aren’t.
And larochelleville said:
NTA. But you should learn to keep your personal financial information to yourself.
Verdict: NTA.
Paging Fairy Godmother!!!!