GF gives BF $1,000 for rent when roommate walks out, he buys a hunting bow. AITA?
Money in relationships can be a very tricky topic.
One woman was blindsighted when her boyfriend's temper caused their roommate to finally decide to move out. She gave him some money to at least go towards bills and cover some rent, but that's not how he decided to spend it. And now, he expects her to split the rent with him evenly, even though he makes much more money and he's the reason their costs have gone up. He says she never told him the money she gave him was for rent and that they both live there so it should be an even split.
AITA: Not splitting rent 50/50 with my fiancé?
For reference live in a city where you need to have roommates if you don’t make over 95k/year. Also, my fiancé can fly off the handle pretty quickly.
We had a roommate (not the best, at all), but it’s all we had. He made a mess of the kitchen every now and then and had smelly feet and would not swiffer- stuff I can tolerate.
Anyhow, my fiancé flew off the handle one night because the roommate was drunk and talked about spiritual stuff and kept trying to talk.
My fiancé flipped out, told him to gtfo and he could afford the place himself; and the roommate said to me, “Im moving out Im sorry. I can’t live with your fiancé. I’ve lived with so many different people. He’s terrible.”
Now he expects me to pay 50% of the rent. Rent is $2800. He makes 2x as much as I do, and I have JUST started working again after being laid off 1.5-2 months ago. I do have savings that he doesn’t but I still need it to last until I start getting regularly paid.
I gave him $1000 out of my savings earlier in April for Mays rent and bills. He interpreted it as “oh you didn’t specify it was for rent” as he said he’d send it back to me and I said keep it use it for rent bills etc.
He instead bought a new compound bow, hundreds of dollars in oil paints and canvases, paid 2x his truck payment, etc.
Now with May coming up, he is saying I am an a**hole for not giving him more money for rent and splitting it evenly? Like an extra what 1400??? For 2400 total?? I just starting working 2 jobs 7 days a week over 50 hrs and still won’t see the same money he’s bringing in every month..
My argument: I’m not the reason the roommate left, you are, and you told the roommate you could afford it, why do I need to split it evenly? I’ve posted around about a roommate being wanted and sent them his phone number because he wanted to screen them. He didn’t respond to them, apparently.
Also, I sent $1000 earlier and because I didn’t specify he blew it on hobbies he wants. I told him, “I’d love to do those too, but I’m focused on saving for a house, and to be financially stable to have those hobbies in my future.”
His argument: I didn’t specify what the $1000 is for and now he’s screwed.
Here were the top comments from readers:
NTA. You need to take these steps in order:
Start looking for another place to live, even if you have to get a few roommates.
As soon as you can lock a place in, return the engagement ring and call off the relationship.
Move out.
If you're afraid of his reaction, do #3 instead of #2 while he's at work and leave him a note with said engagement ring.
Sell the engagement ring and say he didn't specify it was for marriage.
Yeah OP you can't marry this guy. First, you two aren't on the same page with how to share expenses, or how to deal with finances in general. Second, you're gonna have a hard time getting on the same page because he's manipulative and sees every interaction as a possible way to 'win'-- with you losing.
That's gonna be how it goes for your entire relationship with this guy. Is that something you wanna be doing when you're 60? When you're 45? In two years? Next week?
NTA, this guy sounds like a nightmare, run away and never look back.
NTA. Put a hold on the marriage. Your fiancé has issues with an equitable split versus an equal split. Normally loving couples want to help each other succeed, not bleed one dry so the other can buy his toys.