'AITA for telling my sober friend it's not my job to have non-alcoholic drinks at my parties?'

There are few tasks more thankless than being the host of a party full of picky people.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for snapping at a sober friend after a party. She wrote:

"AITA for telling my sober friend it's not my job to have the exact non-alcoholic drink she wants at the parties I throw?"

I'm in college right now. My best friend Joshua (made up for anonymity purposes) is dating one of my other friends Ashley (also made up), and she barely ever drinks. Which, good for her, I respect people that are sober.

I have parties at my place around once a month and like to make a batched alcoholic punch of some kind, but I get Coke or fruit punch or something non alcoholic as well, cause I don't want to pressure people to drink. At the last party, despite having Coke Zero and Dr Pepper, Ashley was like "Do you have sparkling water?" I said "No." I don't really like sparkling water, so I'd never buy it for myself.

She looked upset but she said regular water was fine. She sends me this long text message the next day, basically saying "I really wish you would have sparkling water for me when you throw stuff and consider me. I don't like really sugary stuff like soda and don't want to drink, but it's boring having just water to drink. Just because I don't drink doesn't mean I don't deserve a fun drink too."

I basically told her "It's not my job to buy something I don't ever drink with MY money just for YOU to have. I provide non-alcoholic options because I am considerate of you and the other people that don't drink and if you don't want to drink them then go to your store and buy some yourself. I advertise it as BYOB, so that can apply to you. Or at least have Joshua buy it for you, I'm not your servant."

Joshua's not mad at me but he told me I should talk to Ashley and apologize. I just don't get why I should apologize. That would imply I did something wrong. Sparkling water doesn't cost a lot so it's not a money thing, but it's the principle of it.

Wanting me to buy something else for each party when I provide 1-2 NA options, and you're capable of buying it and bringing it yourself, and you don't even offer to buy me something or do something for me in return.

Plus why am I being held to a higher standard than her literal boyfriend? Sometimes it just feels like all I do is serve to give people stuff, and it's never a consideration about me. I just wish it didn't feel like people took advantage of me all the time and expected me to do every single thing for them.

Redditors had a lot to say in response.

StAlvis wrote:

NTA

"It's boring having just water to drink. Just because I don't drink doesn't mean I don't deserve a fun drink too."

"Here's a straw; blow some bubbles."

You're not running a f##king restaurant.

glimmerseeker wrote:

NTA. BYOB is self explanatory. i don’t like to show up empty handed to parties and it’s kinda common to show up with drinks and/or snacks to share. Sometimes I’m in the mood not to drink alcohol so I make sure to take something I can drink. It’s not a big deal and she’s trying to make it one.

She sounds entitled and ridiculous, to have called you and complained about it. You definitely should NOT apologize. No way.

Horror-Commission656 wrote:

The amount of people that think BYOB only means Bring Your Own Booze versus Bring Your Own Beverage is insane.

You want it, you bring it. Simple.

ZealousidealShake410 wrote:

NTA - it’s a party. Unless they are contributing to the costs of drinks - really not your problem. I have been to many parties where I don’t like the drink options. Either I don’t drink anything or if I know a person doesn’t have drinks I like - I bring my own. Not sure why you’re expected to cater to everyone’s drink/food preferences. They can host a party however they like. Mind blowing the demands people make lol.

Reevadare1990 wrote:

NTA.

BYOB doesn’t just mean alcohol 🤔 I bring seltzers to my in-laws’ place all the time because all the have is coffee, water, and soda!

OP is NTA at all, it's clear Ashley has unrealistic expectations.