Bridezilla upset cousin is late to bachelorette dinner; says 'manage your time better.'
Throwaway, this kind of blew up into a bigger thing and my sister said I should post on AITA.
'AITA for telling my cousin she can't run off to do her own thing, when she was late to dinner on my bachelorette trip?'
I'm (30f) getting married soon and went to NY for my bachelorette trip recently. There were 8 of us including my cousin Hayley, (33f) who's one of my bridesmaids. We were only there for a couple of days and there were a few different things we wanted to do. (also I only asked people pay for their flight and hotel share, I paid for everything else)
I made early dinner reservations for everyone on our last night, and we were going somewhere else after. Hayley mentioned that day she wanted to go visit a cemetery to pay her respects – I said okay but to be back in time to go to dinner.
I made the reservations for 5 and it was already 4.30, but Hayley wasn't back at the hotel. A couple of us called but she didn't pick up, and she sent a text saying she was running late and she would meet us at the restaurant. She ended up coming close to 6.
I talked to her later about being so late and managing her time better, Hayley made an excuse but I replied this was supposed to be a girls trip, not so she can go run off to do her own thing without thinking of anyone else.
She got pretty upset and we flew back the next day, but she kept quiet, and my sister said she saw her crying. I did text her later but she left it on seen. My sister thinks I shouldn't have said that to her, but a couple of the others girls agree Hayley shouldn't have been late. AITA?
Questions, answers and judgements:
glom4ever asks:
INFO: Pay her respects? Who was she visiting?
lateatdinner OP replied:
Her husband, he was originally from NY and is buried here so she said she wanted to go 'visit' him, since she'll be in the city.
panda-sec writes:
Conveniently left out major detail. Husband's grave.
CasperGGGD writes:
OMG! I can’t believe you planned to party for a couple of days in a place that’s close to where her husband is buried and not expect it to be difficult for her. Did you even ask her if she was comfortable “living it up” near her dead husband? YTA for that.
lateatdinner OP replied:
She was fine going to NY on the trip, I didn't force her to come and she said she was excited. My sister wanted to go with her but Hayley said she didn't have to. He died 5 years ago.
coastalkid92 says:
SHE WAS PAYING RESPECTS TO HER HUSBAND SHE WAS WIDOWED FROM!? Holy hell OP, absolutely YTA. I can understand that this was your bachelorette but read the fucking room. It wasn't like she went off to go pay respects to a dead celebrity buried nearby, it was literally her husband. Show a bit of compassion and grow the hell up.
217EBroadwayApt4E writes:
OP’s friend is probably struggling a lot with all of the wedding stuff, but she still showed up and participated. OP doesn’t deserve such a good friend.