Couple staying with friends ask to have 'risqué' photo taken down; they refuse. AITA?
"AITA for asking my friend to move a picture of him and his wife because it made my wife uncomfortable?"
Me (M32) and my wife Dahlia (F28) lost our apartment 2 months ago, so I had to ask my friend, Anthony (M31), to let us move in until I get enough money to rent again. His wife was away visiting family and he agreed, but some issues started to arise.
Fyi, Dahlia is very shy around Anthony. She grew up in conservative home and so it's understandable, but sometimes it can be a bit much I admit that!
For example, she freaked out when she accidently drank from his glass. She also once made a fuss when he passed by the guests room when she was lying down, and the door was open. Thankfully, Anthony was super understanding and we were able to talk some of these issues out.
Last night, Dahlia was passing the hall and noticed a framed picture of Anthony and his wife kissing hanging on the wall. She told me about it and said it made her uncomfortable. She asked if I could speak to Anthony about it, but he didn't take it well.
He gave me a look when I spoke to him and said this was 'bonkers' because first of all, his wife put it there. And second of all, the picture holds sentimental meaning to him and his wife and argued that it wasn't some 'explicit' picture of them, just a normal wedding kiss.
We started arguing and he said that it wasn't like it was hanging in the living room wall or a perfectly lit room. I asked him to be a little more considerate because it's not like I asked him to remove it completely, just move it elsewhere that Dahlia won't reach or keep it off the wall until we leave.
He said he was sorry, but still refused. I explained how Dahlia was feeling, but he said that again, he was sorry but would not move the picture. We argued some more and he said that it's his house and that I was being pushy and kind of too comfortable to make such 'demand.'
This morning, Dahlia refused to even come out of the room until the picture is moved. Anthony is refusing which makes it worse. Now I feel like I'm getting stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Yes she might just be overreacting but I feel like this isn't such a big ask for Anthony to decline and turn down. fwiw If it were me, I'd go the extra mile to make sure my guests are comfortable.
Anthony has been a friend of mine for 10 years. I wouldn't have asked to move in with him if I didn't have such strong bond with him. He himself constantly talks about all the things and situations I helped him out with and we are considered brothers.
Here's what people had to say:
loxidaro says:
YTA and so is your wife. You’re in their home. Your friend is doing you a huge favour and this is what he gets in return? Your wife is being weird as fuck. You’re enabling/coddling her. Find somewhere else to live if you’re going to behave like that.
OP, you are a truly awful husband for enabling Dahlia's insane behavior. Your wife has been abused and brainwashed to the point where she will not be able to be a decent friend, partner, or lord knows parent without serious psychological intervention. You need to come to terms with that and make a plan to get her the help she needs.
I can't even begin to think how horrible it would be to be raised by someone like her. If you have children before she's made significant progress on her issues with gender and sexuality, you've completely failed as a parent before you've even started.
iamdrunk05 says:
If I was Anthony I would start walking around in just my underwear but I'm an a**.
FunkyOrangePenguin says:
You are guests in their home because you are currently homeless.
Your wife is clearly the problem here. Get a grip. YTA.