Friendship

<h2>AITA for getting a 15yr old a gift she wanted instead of the one her mom wanted?</h2><blockquote> <p>This happened last weekend but I&#39;m still having arguments over this with my friend so thought I&#39;d come here to get some outside perspective and opinions.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>So last Saturday one of my coworkers and good friends was throwing a birthday party for her daughter and she invited me. I asked her what I should get her daughter and she said that I should get a karaoke machine.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>But a few days later when I was hanging out with my younger sister who is around the same age as my friend&#39;s daughter I told her about that karaoke machine and she basically laughed at me and said that no one actually wants that and she said I should just message her on IG and ask her what she wants instead of getting something she&#39;s gonna hate or not use.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>So that&#39;s what I did. She ended up sending me some links to some clothes and bags she liked and said that I should just choose one. They were all fairly expensive ones so I just chose the cheapest bag on her list which was still over 300 Euros (320 dollars for the Americans).</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Saturday comes and I end up giving her the bag and my friend saw that I didn&#39;t get the gift she told me to and asked me about it. So I explained everything and she was very upset with me saying that I shouldn&#39;t have messaged her daughter and that I should have just gotten the karaoke machine.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>We had a small argument and even her daughter told her that she never wanted a karaoke machine but my friend still insisted I was a &quot;jerk&quot; for going behind her back. She didn&#39;t talk to me at all throughout the party and even now a week later she constantly brings it up. So was AITA?</p> </blockquote><h2>Notes from OP:</h2><blockquote> <p>I&#39;m a man.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>We&#39;re not just coworkers. We&#39;ve known each other for 7 years and we&#39;re good friends outside of work too.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>I don&#39;t know if it&#39;s just within our social circle or whether that&#39;s a cultural thing but teenagers usually have two &quot;parties&quot;. One is for them and their friends whether it&#39;s a sleepover, going out etc and the other is for family, friends, parents friends etc.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>This is more or less what we spend on gifts. Last year I bought her daughter a podcast microphone thingy and that was around &euro;180.</p> </blockquote><h2>Here&#39;s what people had to say:</h2><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Mobile_Prune_3207/">Mobile_Prune_3207</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>Sounds like mom wanted the karaoke machine.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/NewUserNameSameError/">NewUserNameSameError</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>And mom was so excited, she had visions of family and friend get-togethers where everybody is sitting around listening to her undiscovered talent.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Appropriate_Tote_764/">Appropriate_Tote_764</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>ESH. The gift was not directly the issue, but rather you ignored a parents request and dealt with their child directly instead. On top of that, the gift they asked for was much more expensive than what the parent requested. That&rsquo;s a breach of trust.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/soph_lurk_2018/">soph_lurk_2018</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>I think messaging the daughter without letting the mom know is weird. I wouldn&rsquo;t want my adult male friend (OP said he is male in a comment) messaging my teenager daughter unless I knew about it.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TheBlueLeopard/">TheBlueLeopard</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>YTA. You&#39;re friends with the mom, not the daughter. There was no reason for you to go the extra kilometer, contacting a child through social media without her mother&#39;s knowledge and then buying her an expensive fashion item.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Family friend buys teen the 'wrong' birthday gift; is called 'a jerk.'

AITA for getting a 15yr old a gift she wanted instead of the one her mom wanted? This happened last weekend but I&#39;m still having arguments over this with my friend so thought I&#39;d come here to get some outside perspective and opinions.  So last Saturday one of my coworkers and good friends was throwing a birthday party for her daughter and she invited me. I asked her what I should get her daughter and she said that I should get a karaoke machine.  But a few days later when I was hanging out with my younger sister who is around the same age as my friend&#39;s daughter I told her about that karaoke machine and she basically laughed at me and said that no one actually wants that and she said I should just message her on IG and ask her what she wants instead of getting something she&#39;s gonna hate or not use.  So that&#39;s what I did. She ended up sending me some links to some clothes and bags she liked and said that I should just choose one. They were all fairly expensive ones so I just chose the cheapest bag on her list which was still over 300 Euros (320 dollars for the Americans).  Saturday comes and I end up giving her the bag and my friend saw that I didn&#39;t get the gift she told me to and asked me about it. So I explained everything and she was very upset with me saying that I shouldn&#39;t have messaged her daughter and that I should have just gotten the karaoke machine.  We had a small argument and even her daughter told her that she never wanted a karaoke machine but my friend still insisted I was a &quot;jerk&quot; for going behind her back. She didn&#39;t talk to me at all throughout the party and even now a week later she constantly brings it up. So was AITA? Notes from OP: I&#39;m a man.  We&#39;re not just coworkers. We&#39;ve known each other for 7 years and we&#39;re good friends outside of work too.  I don&#39;t know if it&#39;s just within our social circle or whether that&#39;s a cultural thing but teenagers usually have two &quot;parties&quot;. One is for them and their friends whether it&#39;s a sleepover, going out etc and the other is for family, friends, parents friends etc.  This is more or less what we spend on gifts. Last year I bought her daughter a podcast microphone thingy and that was around &euro;180. Here&#39;s what people had to say:Mobile_Prune_3207 writes: Sounds like mom wanted the karaoke machine.  NewUserNameSameError writes: And mom was so excited, she had visions of family and friend get-togethers where everybody is sitting around listening to her undiscovered talent. Appropriate_Tote_764 writes: ESH. The gift was not directly the issue, but rather you ignored a parents request and dealt with their child directly instead. On top of that, the gift they asked for was much more expensive than what the parent requested. That&rsquo;s a breach of trust. soph_lurk_2018 writes: I think messaging the daughter without letting the mom know is weird. I wouldn&rsquo;t want my adult male friend (OP said he is male in a comment) messaging my teenager daughter unless I knew about it. TheBlueLeopard writes: YTA. You&#39;re friends with the mom, not the daughter. There was no reason for you to go the extra kilometer, contacting a child through social media without her mother&#39;s knowledge and then buying her an expensive fashion item. 

AITA for getting a 15yr old a gift she wanted instead of the one her mom wanted?   This happened last weekend but I&#39;m still having arguments over this with my friend so thought I&#39;d come here to get some outside perspective and...